Category Archives: Survival Skills
Kansas militia expects zombies, and it’s dead serious
It’s got to be one of the coolest names ever for a group:
The Kansas Anti Zombie Militia.
But the group is real and its members are pretty serious about it.
Once the Zombie Apocalypse hits, they’ll be ready for it and they want you to be too.
“Can a natural person change into this monster that many fear?” Alfredo Carbajal, the militia’s main spokesman, said in an interview. “The possibilities are yes, it can happen. We have seen incidents that are very close to it, and we are thinking it is more possible than people think.”
Carbajal and other true believers aren’t so much scared of movie zombies. The apocalypse they see coming is a pandemic spread by a virus that creates zombie-like symptoms.
Last month, the Discovery Channel featured the Kansas militia in a documentary that concluded that such a Zombie Apocalypse — or Zompoc — was possible. The program featured scientists who speculated some evolving virus is bound to jump to humans on our overcrowded planet.
Of course, scientists have been warning about pandemics such as bird flu that don’t produce zombies, but zombies are the hot monsters right now.
A packed house listened last year at St. Mary’s College of Maryland as a chemist, psychologist and student acknowledged the possibility of an epidemic, according to the school’s newspaper.
The panel pointed out that there already have been zombie-like symptoms dating back to 1594; they were eventually determined to be the first recorded human case of furious rabies — an especially serious form of rabies.
Carbajal, 28, didn’t start out as a zombie fighter.
He and several friends grew up in Wamego, home of the Oz museum, watching zombie movies like “Shaun of the Dead,” “28 Days Later” and “Night of the Living Dead” and playing video games like the Left 4 Dead video game series.
The friends designed a web page for fun but then they began wondering what to do if there was actually a zompoc, and their thinking turned serious.
The group has five founders but about 1,500 likes on its Facebook page.
It’s not all zombie crusading; the militia also sponsors a Zombie Walk in October to raise money and food for charities.
But the group’s website points out that the militia is committed to research and preparing for a zompoc.
“We are not crazy. We are not paranoid. We believe in preparedness in any situation,” it says.
Everything you need to know about surviving a zombie attack can be found on the militia’s website — never take on a small horde of zombies by yourself because that would be suicide, and make sure all your skin is covered because blood spatters can be infectious.
Blunt objects are better to use than, say, knives because blades tend to dull after each use. A metal bat and a collapsible baton are the two most recommended weapons.
The site also notes as “a real-life threat to humanity” a biosecurity lab planned near Manhattan, Kan.
Carbajal and his group are not alone in their deep fascination over zombies. Much of the country has been touched.
The “Walking Dead” cable series broke basic cable ratings records with more than 10 million viewers for the first show of season three. And already hype for a movie, based on the book “World War Z,” is widespread even though its release date is six months out.
How-to books have been published in recent years, including the “Zombie Survival Guide,” which made the New York Times Best Seller List, and the “Zombie Combat Manual,” which warns “During a zombie outbreak, 98% of individuals will have to destroy an undead opponent without the aid of a firearm. Will you be ready?”
Carbajal said that if you aren’t a true believer, just being prepared for any apocalypse or natural disaster is a good thing.
“My thought is if you are ready for zombies, you are ready for anything, whether it be natural disasters, fall of government, invasion from another country — the possibilities are endless,” he said. “The point is to keep yourself and your loved ones safe.”
Others agree.
Using the guise of a zombie apocalypse, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and state emergency management agencies are trying to get people to be prepared for a natural disaster with at least several days of food and supplies, copies of important documents and a plan.
“It’s a spoof; we are not encouraging a zombie scare,” said Devan Tucking-Strickler, Kansas Division of Emergency Management spokeswoman. “We use the tagline, ‘If you are prepared for zombies, you are prepared for anything and prepared for the unexpected.’ ”
Kansas even used the militia to help promote general disaster awareness.
Members of the group were featured in a photograph with Gov. Sam Brownback when he signed a proclamation declaring October as Zombie Preparedness Month in Kansas.
A little preparation for disaster can prove very important later, but most people don’t prepare, said another viral disaster worrier, Shawn Beatty, who also was featured on the Discovery documentary.
“You can get a first aid kit for $100, something that you should have in your house anyway, or you can go to dinner, take a trip, or have a really nice night out with that $100,” said Beatty, a public-school teacher in Columbia. “Who is going to say, ‘Let’s go buy something that you may not use?’
Zombies A Factor In Gun Sales Increase, Gun Rights Advocate Says
It’s not just President Obama’s re-election that’s lead to a spike in gun sales. The living dead are also providing a reason to stock up on firearms and ammo.
My Northwest.com reports that, according to FBI data, background checks for guns rose 20 percent on Black Friday from the same day last year. According to KIRO, one gun rights advocate said part of the reason for the increase is zombies.
“A lot of people appear to be really enthralled by this,” Dave Workman said. “I’ve seen lines of zombie targets, I know one or two ammunition companies have introduced boxes, lines of cartridges they called zombie cartridges, shotgun shells and rifle shells.”
The zombie-themed merchandise has ushered in a new generation of gun shooters, according to Workman.
Of course, the popularity of TV’s “Walking Dead,” heralds the coming of a zombie apocalypse for which we must prepare.
Those sentiments were echoed earlier this year by Texas gun purveyor Cris Parsons in an interview with ABC News.
He said products like Zombie Max ammunition (slogan: “just in case”) made by Hornady Manufacturing fly off the shelves.
“We can’t keep it in stock,” Parsons said. “It comes in a cool, colorful box with a Zombie on it.”
Clearly zombies are hot with gun fans, but what about other weapons? Could they too become the beneficiaries of a “zombie bump”? Absolutely, according to Detroit Free Press’ Eric Millikin.
“Zombies are also sure to increase sales of machetes, nunchucks, and prosthetic chainsaw hands,” he writes.
Zombie Apocalypse List Of Attacks in 2012, Real Or Just Covered More?
We’ve all grown up watching zombie films, from old black and whites to ‘Resident Evil’ to ‘The Walking Dead’, but people seem to believe that zombies may very well exist today, and that the CDC is covering it up. Creepy right? But everyone loves a good conspiracy.
Everyone may have heard by now of the ‘Miami Zombie’ attack back in May, where a man, Rudy Eugene, attacked a man, and proceeded to eat away large sections of the homeless man’s face. The responding police officer shot Rudy, and instead of going down, as any normal human would, Rudy turned to the police officer and growled, snapping his teeth like a rabid dog. The gunshots didn’t seem to phase him, and he was unnaturally strong, but soon succumbed after additional gunshots. The explanation? A variant of LSD “Bath Salts”, which is made from a three drug cocktail and causes hallucinations, psychosis, violence, and an immunity to pain.
But what has our every-day zombie conspirators in an uproar are the strange events that happened before, and after, this incident. Separately these incidents have no relevant pattern or meaning, but strung together they create the Zombie Apocalypse Theory. This Zombie Apocalypse list of attacks is still growing for 2012, please let us know if you know of other incidents in the comments.
Zombie Rash in Hollywood Florida May 16, 2012
15 Students and 2 teachers at McArthur High School in Hollywood, FL broke out in mysterious rashes. “Their arms and abdomens are covered in rashes,” says Fire-Rescue Division Chief Mark Steele as he spoke to the Miami Herald, “It happened pretty quickly, so we believe that this is something that’s very acute.”
What frightened people most was when the school was evacuated and a HazMat team came in to investigate. The students and teachers who were exposed were reportedly in a reading room, where no chemicals of any kind should have been. It began when a majority of a class of 21 students, walking from one classroom to the reading room, started developing itchy rashes and hives. The Florida Public Health and Medical Department arrived along with the Fire Department, and showered those affected in an area set up outside the school before being transported on a plastic lined school bus to Memorial Regional Hospital. After a time in the hospital, it was reported that the itchy rashes were the only symptom, and that everyone was stable. What caused the rash remains a mystery, and it was reported that the HazMat did not find anything suspicious and gave the all-clear.
May 18, 2012
An unknown chemical exposure shut down a terminal at the Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport. The chemical is still unknown, but a spokesman from the airport says that it appeared to be an aerosol can that discharged in someones luggage. It sent five people to the hospital with reparatory complaints. Officials say that more than 1,000 passengers and 14 flights were delayed because of it. Enough for a zombie theory? Not really, but its on the list.
Zombie Apocalypse in Illinois on May 21, 2012
A Bellwood man in La Grange, IL allegedly grabbed an 18-year old woman by the neck, twisted her right arm andbit her cheek while threatening to kill her if she called the police. The man, Lloyd Cortez, 18, was arrested.
Zombie Apocalypse in Lauderdale Lakes, FL on May 23, 2012
Another mysterious outbreak has officials completely baffled. Four 6th graders and a teacher at Lauderdale Lakes Middle School were examined by authorities after experiencing itchiness and bumpy red rashes, the same as the twelve students experienced a week before. HazMat returned to the scene after the school was put on lockdown for a second time. The incident has been named the cause of an “undetermined irritant” which is a fancy way of saying “we don’t know.”
May 25, 2012
EMS and HazMat crews respond to a school in Lake County when 27 children and adults came off of a school bus feeling ill. They has watery eyes and were coughing, and complained of an odd smell on the bus. The children and adults were washed down with hoses. The cause is still unknown although they believe it was a pesticidethe bus driver used to clean the bus earlier.
Zombie Apocalypse in Jamaica, FL May 25, 2012
A “disoriented” passenger rushed the front of a plane going from Jamaica to Miami after standing in his seat and ignoring the crew member’s instructions to sit down. He was subdued by some of the 165 passengers on flight 320. Ryan Snider has been arrested on federal charges, although according to the FBI this was not a terrorism-related incident. Though the question remains, if he truly was ‘disoriented’ in a medical way, why is he being arrested on federal charges?
Zombie Apocalypse in Miami, Florida May 26, 2012
The Miami Zombie attack, described above.
MIAMI CANNIBAL / Zombie FACE REVEALED, Rudy Eugene
Zombie Apocalypse in San Diego, CA May 29, 2012
An altercation began at a family gathering in the Spring Valley area of San Diego, resulting in the suspect, later arrested, biting off the nose of his cousin who was raced to the hospital.
Zombie Apocalypse in Baltimore, Maryland May 2012
About a week or so after the Miami Zombie incident, 21 year old Baltimore student, Alexander Kinyua, accused of killing his roommate, told police he did kill the victim, Kujoe Bonsafo Agyei-Kodi, and ate his heart and part of his brain. He hid the hands and head of the victim in his family’s basement laundry room. Earlier in May Kinyua was charged in another attack where the victim was brutally beaten but did survive.
Maryland Cannibal / Man Admits Eating Heart of Victim
Zombie Apocalypse in China Early July 2012
In Wenzhhou, in south east China, reports a bus driver named Dong was drinking heavily during lunch that day. He then suddenly ran out into the road and stood in front of a car begin driven by a woman named Du, stopping her from driving any further. Dong then climbed onto the hood of her car and began beating at the hood and windshield. The frightened woman screamed for help, then tried to escape, climbing out of her car and running. Witnesses say Dong leapt from the car and tackled her, wrestling her to the ground where he then began biting her face. Witnesses successfully wrestled Dong away from the woman and he was taken into custody. Du was taken to the hospital where doctors said she would need surgery to repair her nose and lips.
Zombie Incident on July 7, 2012
Officers respond to a scene a little before 4:30am to find two men restraining Jeremiah Aaron Haughee, age 22, naked in a puddle of urine and glass. The homeowners aokie to the sound of Haughee destroying their garden and outdoor furniture. He crawled up onto the roof, then leapt off, landing on the hood of their truck causing $1,500 worth of damage. The man then leapt onto the homeowner and bit him in the stomach. The homeowner will be permanently disfigured. Officers called for backup and put leg shackles and handcuffs on Haugee, they also used a spit hood and a stun gun to try and subdue him. Despite all this, Haugee then moved his cuffed hands from the back of him to the front while still kicking at the polices officers. They used the stun gun on him five times, and was then taken to the hospital and given Ketamine.
Naked Man Shot Three Times With Stun Gun – Another Cannibal?
– Cops in Canada are also searching for a low budget porn actor, Luka Rocco Magnotta, who allegedly killed a young man with an ice pick, dismembered the body, then proceeded to rape and eat the flesh from the corpse. He allegedly mailed some of the body parts to Ottawa, and is accused of killing cats on video and posting the footage online. Reports say he may be in France at the moment.
Luka Magnotta – Interview with a Psychopath
These instances have people wondering whats behind the flesh eating wave and the strange outbreaks in the various schools. According to the federal government however, a Zombie Apocalypse is the last thing we need to worry about and does not even exist. Over the years the CDC (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) has released a couple of “zombie warnings” which are actually just disaster preparedness stunts. But about a month ago they made it official: Zombies do not exist.
The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Zombies
Zombie survival guides are a blood-stained dime a dozen, but won’t somebody please 
think of the zombies? It’s a hard “life,” full of unending hunger, long monotonous stretches of boredom, a homogenous diet, and unceasing drool. Plus, you never get to change into a clean pair of underwear, and that’s just bad luck.
Well, I’m somebody—a yummy body to the zombies—and I’m happy to oblige. It seems fitting that I, man of alterity and otherness, would be considerate of the needs of zombies. You don’t get much more otherwise than they. So without further moaning, zombie-walk ado, I present seven habits of highly effective zombies.
- Get Involved in a Community – The lone wolf or isolated zombie is easily seen, easily avoided, and easily whacked. Join a mass of your fellow flesh-eaters and stay hidden. It offers you safety, strength in numbers, and a better chance of surrounding and getting your mouth on some of that living meat you so excitedly crave.
- Be Patient – Aristotle taught that virtue is a mean between excess and defect. When you’re in a group advancing on your prey, don’t rush to the front where you’ll be the first to fall, and don’t meander at the very back where you’ll never get your hands on even a multiply-stomped-on strip of intestine. You want to be close to the front, but biding your time. Wait for the frontline zombies to wear down the food. When it’s your turn to strike, your meal will be exhausted, out of bullets, and primed for you, the walking abattoir.
- Have Foresight – This habit is also important before you become a zombie. If you know you’re doomed to be dinner and maybe to life as a zombie, try to get bitten on a part of your body that won’t slow you down or handicap you later. Avoid bites on the leg. You’ll want mobility. The face is fine, but make sure you still have a working jaw. You can get by without an arm, but you’ll be a much more effective killer with all your appendages intact. I recommend guiding the gnawing jaw of a zombie to your chest or back.
- Keep Your Moaning to a Minimum – No sense in announcing your presence. If your voice box alerts your prey, rip it out. You’re a zombie; you can take the biblical injunction literally.
- Eat on the Run – Some zombies like to sit or crouch down to relax and enjoy their food. This is usually unwise. The living may be lurking, looking for distracted zombies to bash in the head. If you must sit, have your back against a wall, and eat with your head up and your eyes peeled. By the way, peeled eye is quite succulent if you can get your hands on some.
- Attack the Unarmed – This may seem a no brainer, but that’s part of your problem, isn’t it? Stay away from humans with guns, blades, bats, and other weapons. You may want to focus on anyone unarmed who could conceivably obtain a weapon and appears to have the knowhow to use it, but this approach obviously has its risks.
- Stalk Close Friends and Family – No one wants to shoot a spouse, parent, child, or good friend in the head. Take advantage of this momentary hesitation to go in for the kill. Beloved celebrities like Justin Bieber or Katy Perry should stalk their once adoring now delicious fans. On the flip side, avoid your enemies, and, if you were a horrible boss, your former employees. People lose their moral compass during a zombie apocalypse and won’t hesitate the blow the brains out of people they really hated if presented with the mere possibility that they’ve become zombies. In The Simpsons, Zombie Flanders learned this the hard way when approaching his neighbor Homer, who, after shooting his undead foe, remarked, “He was a zombie?”
So there you have it. Happy effective hunting!
ZOMBIE SURVIVAL – Survival tips for the urban living: Part 1 – Nuclear Radiation
Though many survivalists like to prepare for TEOTWAWKI (the end of the world as we know it), joblessness and homelessness have led me to the end of the world as I know it. With coffee in hand, I opened the warehouse door of my temporary digs to greet the dawn. Only, it’s noon, there’s a downpour, and the smell of rubber from a pile of decomposing tires greets me. This marks Month 4 in New Orleans and two years since I was laid off.
In this vein, I finally started reading Mat Stein’s two survival books, When Technology Fails (2008) and When Disaster Strikes (2011). I also headed over to Jim Rawles’ Survival Blog and Mat’s website, whentechfails.com.
Instead of a lone-wolf, Mad Max world which plays well on film, Stein reasonably argues that individual survival relies on a community of like-minded folks. So plan your survival migration or shelter with room for your core group. The essential wisdom from both books and most survival websites is to plan a strategically sound survival budget, taking into account the climate of where you expect to be after you hit the road.
Few experts would call the US a failed or fragile state given to eco-migration, but most Americans already live in toxic zones, with our land, air and water being systematically poisoned by industry. New Orleans is only one of many areas suffering from hyper-industrialization and weather destruction. Locals call the corridor from here to Baton Rouge, “Cancer Alley.”
Thanks to Corexit and the Macondo Blowout (among hundreds of other oil “spills”), Gulf seafood is unfit for human consumption, and anglers and beachcombers are suffering from a host of health issues including respiratory failure. Birds, turtles, dolphins, and other sea life are dying in mass numbers or are showing up deformed, while federal agencies insist all is well.
I met a man who helped with the cleanup. The toxic brew severely damaged circulation in both his legs, leaving him wheelchair-bound. Grandmothers of the Gulf organizer, Laura Regan, insists her and her husband’s respiratory problems are from swimming in the Gulf after authorities promised the water was safe. She, along with most coastal residents, believe they are still spraying Corexit today. That may explain why the Louisiana Senate buried SB 97 in committee last year, which would have banned Corexit and any other oil dispersant not categorized as “Practically Non-Toxic.”
My romantic notion of sticking my toes in the famous Mississippi after I got here was sullied by the strong industrial odor wafting from the river. It sickened both of us who walked the levy that day.
All over the planet, giant multinational corporations are singly and jointly destroying the landbase for huge swaths of people, and New Orleans is no exception. Three major wars settled this area so that tens of thousands of oil wells could be built, right along with all the chemical and oil refineries, labs, agrochemical dumps, and the 25-year-old Waterford nuclear plant, 20 miles outside the city.
Because Fukushima radiated the Northern Hemisphere, because fracking releases rock-bound uranium that contaminates our local water table, and because I’m in Cancer Alley just miles from Waterford, this first essay focuses on nuclear survival.
Some nuclear survival tips are obvious. Dr John W. Gofman, a distinguished medical and nuclear scientist who worked on the Manhattan Project to develop the atomic bomb estimated in 2001 that 75% of US women who develop breast cancer get it from medical radiation. Simply refuse such tests, including airport body scanners.
When the US Supreme Court thwarted public will and handed Bush Florida, and thereby the presidency, we were led into 9/11 and nuclear war on the Middle East and Africa. Bob Koehler writes:
“Iraq Syndrome must include awareness of our toxic legacy, in particular the radioactive fallout resulting from exploding several thousand tons of depleted uranium munitions. Last year, the International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health published a study of the devastated city of Fallujah, pointing out that, among much else, it is experiencing higher rates of cancer, leukemia and infant mortality than Hiroshima and Nagasaki did in 1945. And birth defects abound: ‘Young women in Fallujah are terrified of having children,’ a group of British and Iraqi doctors reported.”
Industrial civilization’s war on the environment is no less radioactive. The US hosts 25% of the world’s nuclear power plants, and even without incidents or accidents, they leak radiation into the local environment, as evidenced by the cancer clusters around nuke plants. Being in New Orleans, I’m exposed daily to whatever is dumped in the Mississippi, including leaking radioactive particles from the several nuke plants that dot its length.
Lest anyone believe health officials and nuclear energy proponents that the harm from Fukushima is minimal (and no longer poses a threat), all they need do is look at the Chernobyl casualties, where only one reactor was involved. Last year, researchers published their review of over 5,000 scientific articles and studies and concluded that a million people have succumbed to Chernobyl radiation. According to one source, the authors explain:
“Emissions from this one reactor exceeded a hundred-fold the radioactive contamination of the bombs dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. No citizen of any country can be assured that he or she can be protected from radioactive contamination. One nuclear reactor can pollute half the globe. Chernobyl fallout covers the entire Northern Hemisphere.”
Fukushima lost four reactors, with three in complete meltdown, but pro-nuke officials from the World Health Organization on down promise thru lying teeth this poses little to no threat to our health or the environment. As Chernobyl showed, in 30 years, we can expect many Northern Hemisphere survivors to sport tumors and other cancers resulting from radiation-damaged DNA. We can only pray for the unborn, from those healthy enough to reproduce.
Expectedly, US officials also lied about the Three Mile Island nuclear disaster, while cancer rates jumped for those nearby. Richard Wilcox wrote an excellent article on all this that is well worth the read:
“Independent testing in Japan has revealed that fallout from the accident and ongoing accumulation has contaminated food supplies in the Northeast and Tokyo.”
From plutonium-laden fish, “the most toxic substance known in the universe,” to radioactive cesium in California tuna, Wilcox itemizes the destruction of our food supply. Radioactive fallout, of course, contaminates grazelands, meaning our milk and dairy products are also contaminated.
All of us have cause, right now, to ensure our water and food is clean and radiation-free. All of us have sound reason to become survivalists. Here are some tips to protect you and yours…