Tag Archives: machete
Zombies A Factor In Gun Sales Increase, Gun Rights Advocate Says
It’s not just President Obama’s re-election that’s lead to a spike in gun sales. The living dead are also providing a reason to stock up on firearms and ammo.
My Northwest.com reports that, according to FBI data, background checks for guns rose 20 percent on Black Friday from the same day last year. According to KIRO, one gun rights advocate said part of the reason for the increase is zombies.
“A lot of people appear to be really enthralled by this,” Dave Workman said. “I’ve seen lines of zombie targets, I know one or two ammunition companies have introduced boxes, lines of cartridges they called zombie cartridges, shotgun shells and rifle shells.”
The zombie-themed merchandise has ushered in a new generation of gun shooters, according to Workman.
Of course, the popularity of TV’s “Walking Dead,” heralds the coming of a zombie apocalypse for which we must prepare.
Those sentiments were echoed earlier this year by Texas gun purveyor Cris Parsons in an interview with ABC News.
He said products like Zombie Max ammunition (slogan: “just in case”) made by Hornady Manufacturing fly off the shelves.
“We can’t keep it in stock,” Parsons said. “It comes in a cool, colorful box with a Zombie on it.”
Clearly zombies are hot with gun fans, but what about other weapons? Could they too become the beneficiaries of a “zombie bump”? Absolutely, according to Detroit Free Press’ Eric Millikin.
“Zombies are also sure to increase sales of machetes, nunchucks, and prosthetic chainsaw hands,” he writes.
Zombie Prep – WHAT YOU NEED IN YOUR BUG OUT BAG
What is a Bug Out Bag?
A bug out bag is a bag (or several) that is supposed to last you for at least 72 hours. The original term was derived from the term ‘bail out bag’ used by many military aviators. The idea soon passed into wide usage among other military and law enforcement.
A bug out bag is to contain items for both leaving an emergency situation as well as going into an emergency situation.
A bug out bag is not required in order to survive, but it is HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!
So where to start?
First things first, you need to determine what the bug out bag is going to be used for. In this case, we’re going to be building a bug out bag for the zombie apocalypse. There are many different types of bug out bags, which means you can have one bag designated for a specific circumstance, such as a fire, earthquake, flood, etc.
But, we’re just going to stick with making one for the zombie apocalypse, since that’s what we do best! Which also means, that we’re going to be recommending items that are meant to last for a long time, instead of just 72 hours.
You’ll need a sturdy backpack. Hikers backpacks are always a great item, since they’re meant for durability. But make sure it’s not a cheap backpack, out of everything, this is the item that you’ll want to spend a bit of money on. Because this backpack will basically be carrying your basics for survival – so get a quality backpack!
What items should I include?
Now here’s the fun part! We’ll recommend several items that we believe you should include in your bug out bag, but don’t take us word-for-word. While these items are highly recommended, you may find that something else works better for you.
1. Containers: Having several containers at your disposal will be extremely useful. These containers can be anything from, water bottles, little kettles, water proof tupperware, etc. When choosing your containers, make sure that you can fit other stuff within the container, that way the container serves multiple purposes. So find random little containers to carry in your pack.
2. Water: This should be a no brainer but the water that you carry with you isn’t going to last forever. You need to find ways to purify water. Such as a little pot to boil water. Or purification tablets. Or even a mini water purifier that they sell at any outdoors store. Whatever you choose, make sure it’s durable and will last for at least several weeks.
3. Food: Canned foods are NOT GOOD! They are bulky and heavy, which will slow you down. One of our members has a bunch of dried foods in zip lock bags that were full of calories and carbohydrates. You want foods that will fill you up quick and give you energy. MRE’s are also good if you can get your hands on them. You should also invest in some fishing wire and hooks, so you can fish for your food.
4. Shelter: The ‘space’ blanket is a favorite of most, and it’s a good choice. Also, poncho’s and poncho liners will be incredible for the cold. With either the space blanket or poncho, you can throw those on around you, light up a little fire inside your poncho and you’d be toasty warm! Plus you’d be protected from getting wet. Finding something that is lightweight and durable will be a shelter lifesaver. A hammock might not be a bad idea, either, since they are generally lightweight and you can string them up practically anywhere.
5. Fire: We don’t recommend flashlights, although they can be great for the first 72 hours, unless you have 100 different flashlights and batteries to go with them (which is impractical to begin with) then you’re going to need an alternative for flashlights. Glow sticks are a great alternative. So is flint and steel. Remember, zombies are attracted to light, so we recommend getting used to the dark and ONLY using fire and light when you’re cooking or need to read a map or compass. Candles and water-proof matches are also a good idea.
6. Weapons: Ah I bet you were just WAITING for this section, weren’t ya? We’re not going to recommend individual weapons, that’s based on personal preference. But instead, just make sure you have enough bullets to get you through for a while and MAKE SURE to use them sparingly. You never know when you’ll come across more ammo, so only shoot when your life depends on it. Also have a few melee weapons available, like knifes, axes, machete’s and such, if not for fighting, then definitely for small game hunting, skinning fish, etc. Find weapons both for survival and for defense.
7. Rope & tape: We recommend 550 cord. It’s the toughest and most long-last rope you’ll ever need or want. We also recommend carrying some duct tape – cause you never know when you’ll need duct tape!
8. Shoes: These don’t go in your bug out bag necessarily, but having the proper shoes will go a long way in keeping you sane. If you have a bulky pack on your back and you’re having to walk A LOT, then having a good pair of shoes will be a life-saver. Be sure to break the shoes in BEFORE it’s time to flee.
9. First aid: Some people are more obsessed with first aid than others. It’s at least a good idea to have a few alcohol swabs, bandages, pair of tweezers, tourniquet (or handkerchief), as well as other varied pieces of first aid that you think you may need.
10. Misc: The rest of the items in your bag will depend on personal preference. An extra pair of clothes perhaps (under armor is highly recommended), carabiners, Zombie Response Team patch (coming soon!), a little radio (for the first 72 hours (or until the batteries run out) to hear news about what’s going on), a mini solar panel (HIGHLY recommended), a hat (to protect your head from the sun and other elements), gloves, compass, really warm socks, a little sewing kit, deck of cards (never know, you may be bored), a picture of loved ones, etc. The list can go on and on.
That about covers it!
Zombie Apocalypse Has Begun! PREPARE PREPARE – Outbreaks Occurring Nationwide
Beginning in May, on a sunny day in Miami, Florida, America began living its very own
Zombie fantasy. As you know, there are thousands of homeless people in the world. Well 65 year old Ronald Poppo, who was one of these unfortunates, was walking in an alley of down town Miami, when 31 year old Rudy Eugene decided he looked delicious. Eugene was found naked under a bridge, chewing on Poppo’s face. The Miami police yelled at Eugene to stop, but he wouldn’t and for Poppo’s safety, the police shot at Eugene. They shot at him in the chest several times but he was still alive, after shooting him even more, Eugene dropped to the ground dead. Poppo is now in a hospital in Miami. He is doing fine and is to have physical therapy.
Poppo is not the only zombie victim in the U.S. there was a woman who ate part of her baby’s brain, three of its toes, and part of its intestines. There was another college student who killed and ate his roommate. That definitely makes me not want to live in dorms. There was another attack where the man threw his own intestines at the police officers. Finally, a Canadian porn star lost it and ate someone, oh and also threatened the Prime Minister.
Yes, there are finally Zombies in North America and who knows if they are in any other part of the world. There is nothing we can do about it. Let’s face it; we all know that this country is all pretty screwed up. There are some crazy people in the country.
People are starting to say that the Zombie apocalypse is almost here. When I was younger, my mother joked around about the zombie apocalypse. I got really scared. Little did know that I was going to write an article about Zombies. People are freaking out about this when you are actually pretty safe. There is a 0.25 in a 10 percent chance that you would be a Zombie victim. But just in case, you should be ready for the Zombies next attack.
Look, everyone knows that the Zombies are coming and there is nothing we can do about it. Just be prepared. This is the updated list of the do’s and don’ts, and how to tell if Zombies are in your town.
Let’s start.
How do you know there are zombies in your town?
Well, if you start hearing crazy people chanting to themselves, then yeah they are on the verge on Zombie-hood (or they are in a popular teen cult…either way, probably bad news). We all know that the crazy people are going to become zombies first because they were neglected and left to live on the streets. You can also tell there are Zombies in the town when you hear screaming and police cars all night long. And the final way to see if there are Zombies in your town is if you see a lot of new (but empty) graves. That means one of three things:
A- The Zombies have been crawling out of their graves.
B- There have been a lot of deaths, which means that they died from Zombies eating them.
C- That pesky teen cult thing again.
How do you prepare for a Zombie apocalypse?
Two words: Get Weapons.
When picking your weapons, you want to get something that you can shoot or throw or stab them with from a long distance because you don’t want to get the Zombie juice on you. The main weapon that you want is a gun. When you get a gun, your first choice is a hand gun. Hand guns can hold more bullets and you can empty and re-lode fast. They are easy for travel and you can put them almost anywhere. You want to make sure that you have more than one gun because the gun can get lost or broken. If you can’t get the gun, then you want a machete. Go ahead and cut off their heads. Make sure that you don’t get the Zombie juice in your blood through a cut or something…it will turn you into a Zombie. You can use pretty much anything, just kill the brain. Cut off the head then smash it. If you want you can burn it. Just don’t let any other Zombie eat the body because then the Zombie will get stronger.
After you get your weapons, you want to get a safe spot. I would say a basement because Zombies can’t lift heavy things or their limbs will fall off. Or you’re going to want to hide in an attic. You want to be as far away from a graveyard as possible. Try getting a cabin in the middle of the woods. Make sure that you have food storage because you don’t know how long you will be there.
How you know you got infected and what to do.
If you got any Zombie juice on you, and you didn’t disinfect it by burning the area you are probably on your way to being a Zombie. If it gets into your blood then kill yourself if you don’t what to become a Zombie. If you decide to kill yourself then you should knock yourself out and have someone throw you in a fire so you know that you won’t become a Zombie. If the Zombie juice gets in your system without you knowing the symptoms of Zombieitis, you’re going to want to go through this check list:
- Are you choking on nothing?
- Do you have green splotches on your skin, dizziness, and craving for raw meat? Especially Brains?
- Is your skin falling off like a leper?
If you said yes to any of these, you may want to kill yourself.
But you never know when they are going to crawl out of their grave…OH WAIT THEY HAVE!
Y’all had better stop reading and start killing the Zombies
Zombie Survival Guide Review
The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Living Dead
Let’s face it: at one time or another we’ve all faced a zombie scare we aren’t prepared
for. And yes, the local constabulary usually cleans things up with a minimum of fuss, but what happens when things go wrong and the cavalry doesn’t arrive? That, my friends, is the day that Max Brooks’ “The Zombie Survival Guide” saves your life. With several millennia worth of field experience distilled into a manageable 254 pages, everything you need to know to survive the coming war with the undead can be found in these pages. Your life and the lives of those you love are at stake, act now and be prepared!
OK, so that paragraph was obviously tongue in cheek, but hopefully in conveys some sense of what Brooks’ remarkable “The Zombie Survival Guide” is like. While obviously a parody of both the horror genre and civil defense/survivalist manuals, it maintains an “all-business” demeanor, never once cracking the façade to reveal the underlying humoristic intent. The result is a book that is, when taken as a whole, a funny, incredibly thorough work of satire. However, at the same time, page-by-page, it is a rather accomplished addition to zombie horror.
Starting with zombie physiology and then moving on to weapons, tactics, long-term strategy and history Brooks has produced a manual which has a thoroughness that belies the absurdity of its subject. Point by point he discusses the pros and cons of rifles, machetes and flamethrowers, then considers the optimal defensive positions for various types of outbreaks. After an extensive discussion of survival in a zombie doomsday scenario, he lays out zombie outbreaks through history, and what their implications are. Throughout, entries are extensively cross-referenced and alternative courses of action are always weighed for potential risks and benefits.
The remarkable thing about all this is that Brooks has managed to infuse a tension, and urgency into his manual that makes for great reading. Part post-apocalyptic fiction, part “Night of the Living Dead” and part “Saturday Night Live” sketch, this is a book that should hold appeal across a broad range of genres. Thorough without being dry, creepy without being clichéd, and funny without relying on cheap laughs, “The Zombie Survival Guide” is undoubtedly one of the most original books I have ever read, and one that I enjoyed reading immensely. If you appreciate any or all of these genres, or if you just enjoy a well executed, original idea, this is definitely a book you’ll want to check out.
And remember…Tomorrow may be too late, read this book today!
Zombie Questions
QUESTION:
a) Baseball Bat b) Machete c) Shotgun d) Liquid Nitrogen e) Wood-Chipper.
The BASEBALL BAT (aka: Louisville Slugger) is great for that up-close and personal touch. Whether you use wood or aluminum, be advised, after a good head-bashing, you might experience a temporary tingling or numbness in your wrists.
The MACHETE, a cross between an axe and a knife, is a good multi-use tool. Downside: Constant practice and blade-sharpening can seem like chores. QUICK TIP: If you must have a machete, get a Kukri (central Asia) or the Tapanga (Africa).
On the other hand, for elegance, precision, and stealthy silence, nothing beats the Japanese Katana sword – think Highlander.
The SHOTGUN. It gives new meaning the the term: “Scatterbrained”. But seriously folks, what’s not to like about a pump-action, Mossberg 500 – it’s an American Classic. Downside: Shotgun blasts are messy and very loud.
LIQUID NITROGEN. Yes, it’s very “out-of-the box” thinking but it’s also very complicated and it wouldn’t actually kill a zombie as much as slow it down.
The WOOD-CHIPPER. Granted, they’re not cheap and coaxing the undead inside one can be tricky. On the other hand, nothing is more satisfying then seeing the total (million tiny bit) annihilation of a zombie. Oh yeah, Zed is dead.