Category Archives: Preppers
10 Essentials for Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse: A Practical Guide
In many ways, vampires and zombies are two sides to the same coin. Both are undead. Both spread their condition through bites. Both have specific methods in which they can be killed. But vampires are the patricians of the undead with fussy European accents, bright sparkly skin, cheerleader girlfriends, tailored suits, and slinky party dresses. Zombies, on the other hand, are strictly blue-collar and, I daresay, typically American. They roam the streets, disheveled, dispossessed, homeless. They are the middle class, marginalized into oblivion.
Taken singly, zombies are slow, idiotic, and relatively easy to kill. Laughable, even, with their witless drive and ungainly movements. One zombie? Destroy the brain, drop the shambler. But collectively, zombies are an inexorable force, knocking down chain-link fences, busting through windows, treating your neighbors like bowls of spinach dip. They’re the ultimate union. And their collective bargaining powers can’t be legislated away.
To survive the zombie apocalypse, you’re going to need a plan. Survival means you’re going to have to accept the blue-collar ethos that the zombies embody. Time to roll up your sleeves, put on your best Mike Rowe face, and get ready to do some dirty work. In no particular order, here are 10 essential items for surviving the zombie apocalypse. For a more in depth exploration into zombie apocalypse survival techniques and items, feel free to check out This Dark Earth, my zombie survival treatise-cum-novel. Wait. Not a cum-novel. Strike that last bit. Sheesh, you people.
Headknockers come in a variety of shapes and sizes. You can find one in every garage, every toolbox in America. A hammer, a hatchet, a crowbar, a two-by-four. A Louisville slugger. Destroy the brain and you’re good to go. Big plus: relatively quiet and no need to reload.
Any more zombies than two, your best bet is hunching over in a protective ball, placing your head between your legs and giving your gluteus maximus one last smooch in thanks for all the good times.
If you have Kevlar motorcycle gear, in addition to looking cool, you’re freaking gold, hombre.
Unless you’re into the weird stuff.
ZOMBIE OUTBREAK – Arrested for murder, eating raw brains and making penis soup
Authorities in Papua New Guinea have arrested 29 members of a suspected cannibal cult accused of killing seven people before eating their brains and making soup from their penises.
The accused are alleged to have been part of a 1000-strong group which was formed to take on suspected witch doctors.
They believed their victims had all been involved in ‘sanguma’, or sorcery, and that they had been demanding sex and money from villagers in return for exercising their spiritual powers.
A Madang Police Commander, Anthony Wagambie, confirmed reports that the cult members had eaten the victims’ brains raw and had made soup from their penises.
“They don’t think they’ve done anything wrong; they admit what they’ve done openly,” Wagambie said.
The group claimed witch doctors had begun charging large fees of 1,000 kina or $475 for casting out evil spirits and providing other services.
The accused also claimed the alleged witch doctors had begun demanding sex as payment.
The cult members believed that by eating the witch doctors’ body parts they would attain their spiritual powers, and become bullet-proof.
Reports claim that there could be between 700 and 1000 cult members in several remote PNG villages in the northeast interior.
The killings prompted police raids in the village of Biamb last week resulting in the 29 arrests.
The case has now been adjourned until the 17th of August so that the authorities can gather further evidence.
Whilst under the colonial rule of Australia the traditional culture of PNG retained isolated pockets of cannibalism into the latter part of the 20th century – human flesh was known as “long pig”.
In recent years there have been a number of cases of alleged witchcraft and cannibalism.
Last year a man was reportedly found eating his newborn son during a sorcery initiation ceremony.
In 2009 reports claim a woman was burnt alive at the stake in the Highlands town of Mount Hagen – the crime was also thought to be related to sorcery.
According to reports in The National newspaper 28 women and men appeared in court on Tuesday charged with murder – it was not clear what had happened to the 29th cult member.
Police have said they are gathering more evidence regarding the cannibalism before any charges are made relating to those crimes.
Murder is punishable by death penalty in Papua New Guinea.
Police Commander Anthony Wagambie said there could potentially be more arrests this weekend, maybe of another 100 people.
He also said that four of the victims had been murdered very recently, possibly even last week.
He added that none of the victims’ remains had been found,
“They’re probably all eaten up,” he said.
LOLLIPOP CHAINSAW – Juliet Starling Zombie Slaying Super Babe REAL!!!
Lollipop Chainsaw superbabe Juliet Starling has been spotted hacking zombies!
Check out her facebook page here
https://www.facebook.com/OfficialJessicaNigri
When Zombies invite themself at Bowling- COOLEST THING FOR THE Z-POC
magine play bowling with the head of a zombie as a ball… When Zombies invite themselves at Bowling, a superb campaign for the German version of horror chanel 13th Street, which once again takes up the theme of zombie for its communication (like this previous campaign: Zombies on 13th St
Just when you thought nothing could make bowling any cooler, here come the zombies.
