Category Archives: Zombie Survival
Zombie Apocalypse List Of Attacks in 2012, Real Or Just Covered More?
We’ve all grown up watching zombie films, from old black and whites to ‘Resident Evil’ to ‘The Walking Dead’, but people seem to believe that zombies may very well exist today, and that the CDC is covering it up. Creepy right? But everyone loves a good conspiracy.
Everyone may have heard by now of the ‘Miami Zombie’ attack back in May, where a man, Rudy Eugene, attacked a man, and proceeded to eat away large sections of the homeless man’s face. The responding police officer shot Rudy, and instead of going down, as any normal human would, Rudy turned to the police officer and growled, snapping his teeth like a rabid dog. The gunshots didn’t seem to phase him, and he was unnaturally strong, but soon succumbed after additional gunshots. The explanation? A variant of LSD “Bath Salts”, which is made from a three drug cocktail and causes hallucinations, psychosis, violence, and an immunity to pain.
But what has our every-day zombie conspirators in an uproar are the strange events that happened before, and after, this incident. Separately these incidents have no relevant pattern or meaning, but strung together they create the Zombie Apocalypse Theory. This Zombie Apocalypse list of attacks is still growing for 2012, please let us know if you know of other incidents in the comments.
Zombie Rash in Hollywood Florida May 16, 2012
15 Students and 2 teachers at McArthur High School in Hollywood, FL broke out in mysterious rashes. “Their arms and abdomens are covered in rashes,” says Fire-Rescue Division Chief Mark Steele as he spoke to the Miami Herald, “It happened pretty quickly, so we believe that this is something that’s very acute.”
What frightened people most was when the school was evacuated and a HazMat team came in to investigate. The students and teachers who were exposed were reportedly in a reading room, where no chemicals of any kind should have been. It began when a majority of a class of 21 students, walking from one classroom to the reading room, started developing itchy rashes and hives. The Florida Public Health and Medical Department arrived along with the Fire Department, and showered those affected in an area set up outside the school before being transported on a plastic lined school bus to Memorial Regional Hospital. After a time in the hospital, it was reported that the itchy rashes were the only symptom, and that everyone was stable. What caused the rash remains a mystery, and it was reported that the HazMat did not find anything suspicious and gave the all-clear.
May 18, 2012
An unknown chemical exposure shut down a terminal at the Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport. The chemical is still unknown, but a spokesman from the airport says that it appeared to be an aerosol can that discharged in someones luggage. It sent five people to the hospital with reparatory complaints. Officials say that more than 1,000 passengers and 14 flights were delayed because of it. Enough for a zombie theory? Not really, but its on the list.
Zombie Apocalypse in Illinois on May 21, 2012
A Bellwood man in La Grange, IL allegedly grabbed an 18-year old woman by the neck, twisted her right arm andbit her cheek while threatening to kill her if she called the police. The man, Lloyd Cortez, 18, was arrested.
Zombie Apocalypse in Lauderdale Lakes, FL on May 23, 2012
Another mysterious outbreak has officials completely baffled. Four 6th graders and a teacher at Lauderdale Lakes Middle School were examined by authorities after experiencing itchiness and bumpy red rashes, the same as the twelve students experienced a week before. HazMat returned to the scene after the school was put on lockdown for a second time. The incident has been named the cause of an “undetermined irritant” which is a fancy way of saying “we don’t know.”
May 25, 2012
EMS and HazMat crews respond to a school in Lake County when 27 children and adults came off of a school bus feeling ill. They has watery eyes and were coughing, and complained of an odd smell on the bus. The children and adults were washed down with hoses. The cause is still unknown although they believe it was a pesticidethe bus driver used to clean the bus earlier.
Zombie Apocalypse in Jamaica, FL May 25, 2012
A “disoriented” passenger rushed the front of a plane going from Jamaica to Miami after standing in his seat and ignoring the crew member’s instructions to sit down. He was subdued by some of the 165 passengers on flight 320. Ryan Snider has been arrested on federal charges, although according to the FBI this was not a terrorism-related incident. Though the question remains, if he truly was ‘disoriented’ in a medical way, why is he being arrested on federal charges?
Zombie Apocalypse in Miami, Florida May 26, 2012
The Miami Zombie attack, described above.
MIAMI CANNIBAL / Zombie FACE REVEALED, Rudy Eugene
Zombie Apocalypse in San Diego, CA May 29, 2012
An altercation began at a family gathering in the Spring Valley area of San Diego, resulting in the suspect, later arrested, biting off the nose of his cousin who was raced to the hospital.
Zombie Apocalypse in Baltimore, Maryland May 2012
About a week or so after the Miami Zombie incident, 21 year old Baltimore student, Alexander Kinyua, accused of killing his roommate, told police he did kill the victim, Kujoe Bonsafo Agyei-Kodi, and ate his heart and part of his brain. He hid the hands and head of the victim in his family’s basement laundry room. Earlier in May Kinyua was charged in another attack where the victim was brutally beaten but did survive.
Maryland Cannibal / Man Admits Eating Heart of Victim
Zombie Apocalypse in China Early July 2012
In Wenzhhou, in south east China, reports a bus driver named Dong was drinking heavily during lunch that day. He then suddenly ran out into the road and stood in front of a car begin driven by a woman named Du, stopping her from driving any further. Dong then climbed onto the hood of her car and began beating at the hood and windshield. The frightened woman screamed for help, then tried to escape, climbing out of her car and running. Witnesses say Dong leapt from the car and tackled her, wrestling her to the ground where he then began biting her face. Witnesses successfully wrestled Dong away from the woman and he was taken into custody. Du was taken to the hospital where doctors said she would need surgery to repair her nose and lips.
Zombie Incident on July 7, 2012
Officers respond to a scene a little before 4:30am to find two men restraining Jeremiah Aaron Haughee, age 22, naked in a puddle of urine and glass. The homeowners aokie to the sound of Haughee destroying their garden and outdoor furniture. He crawled up onto the roof, then leapt off, landing on the hood of their truck causing $1,500 worth of damage. The man then leapt onto the homeowner and bit him in the stomach. The homeowner will be permanently disfigured. Officers called for backup and put leg shackles and handcuffs on Haugee, they also used a spit hood and a stun gun to try and subdue him. Despite all this, Haugee then moved his cuffed hands from the back of him to the front while still kicking at the polices officers. They used the stun gun on him five times, and was then taken to the hospital and given Ketamine.
Naked Man Shot Three Times With Stun Gun – Another Cannibal?
– Cops in Canada are also searching for a low budget porn actor, Luka Rocco Magnotta, who allegedly killed a young man with an ice pick, dismembered the body, then proceeded to rape and eat the flesh from the corpse. He allegedly mailed some of the body parts to Ottawa, and is accused of killing cats on video and posting the footage online. Reports say he may be in France at the moment.
Luka Magnotta – Interview with a Psychopath
These instances have people wondering whats behind the flesh eating wave and the strange outbreaks in the various schools. According to the federal government however, a Zombie Apocalypse is the last thing we need to worry about and does not even exist. Over the years the CDC (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) has released a couple of “zombie warnings” which are actually just disaster preparedness stunts. But about a month ago they made it official: Zombies do not exist.
The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Zombies
Zombie survival guides are a blood-stained dime a dozen, but won’t somebody please 
think of the zombies? It’s a hard “life,” full of unending hunger, long monotonous stretches of boredom, a homogenous diet, and unceasing drool. Plus, you never get to change into a clean pair of underwear, and that’s just bad luck.
Well, I’m somebody—a yummy body to the zombies—and I’m happy to oblige. It seems fitting that I, man of alterity and otherness, would be considerate of the needs of zombies. You don’t get much more otherwise than they. So without further moaning, zombie-walk ado, I present seven habits of highly effective zombies.
- Get Involved in a Community – The lone wolf or isolated zombie is easily seen, easily avoided, and easily whacked. Join a mass of your fellow flesh-eaters and stay hidden. It offers you safety, strength in numbers, and a better chance of surrounding and getting your mouth on some of that living meat you so excitedly crave.
- Be Patient – Aristotle taught that virtue is a mean between excess and defect. When you’re in a group advancing on your prey, don’t rush to the front where you’ll be the first to fall, and don’t meander at the very back where you’ll never get your hands on even a multiply-stomped-on strip of intestine. You want to be close to the front, but biding your time. Wait for the frontline zombies to wear down the food. When it’s your turn to strike, your meal will be exhausted, out of bullets, and primed for you, the walking abattoir.
- Have Foresight – This habit is also important before you become a zombie. If you know you’re doomed to be dinner and maybe to life as a zombie, try to get bitten on a part of your body that won’t slow you down or handicap you later. Avoid bites on the leg. You’ll want mobility. The face is fine, but make sure you still have a working jaw. You can get by without an arm, but you’ll be a much more effective killer with all your appendages intact. I recommend guiding the gnawing jaw of a zombie to your chest or back.
- Keep Your Moaning to a Minimum – No sense in announcing your presence. If your voice box alerts your prey, rip it out. You’re a zombie; you can take the biblical injunction literally.
- Eat on the Run – Some zombies like to sit or crouch down to relax and enjoy their food. This is usually unwise. The living may be lurking, looking for distracted zombies to bash in the head. If you must sit, have your back against a wall, and eat with your head up and your eyes peeled. By the way, peeled eye is quite succulent if you can get your hands on some.
- Attack the Unarmed – This may seem a no brainer, but that’s part of your problem, isn’t it? Stay away from humans with guns, blades, bats, and other weapons. You may want to focus on anyone unarmed who could conceivably obtain a weapon and appears to have the knowhow to use it, but this approach obviously has its risks.
- Stalk Close Friends and Family – No one wants to shoot a spouse, parent, child, or good friend in the head. Take advantage of this momentary hesitation to go in for the kill. Beloved celebrities like Justin Bieber or Katy Perry should stalk their once adoring now delicious fans. On the flip side, avoid your enemies, and, if you were a horrible boss, your former employees. People lose their moral compass during a zombie apocalypse and won’t hesitate the blow the brains out of people they really hated if presented with the mere possibility that they’ve become zombies. In The Simpsons, Zombie Flanders learned this the hard way when approaching his neighbor Homer, who, after shooting his undead foe, remarked, “He was a zombie?”
So there you have it. Happy effective hunting!
UK ZOMBIE OUTBREAK – Zombie Takes A Bite Out Of Leather Bus Seat
“British police said they are trying to identify a bus passenger recorded by a CCTV camera biting a chunk out of a leather seat.
Police said footage from the No. 12 bus in Paignton recorded the man biting a chunk out of the seat around 8:20 p.m. May 25, causing about $314 worth of damage, The Mirror reported Monday.
We all know that zombies have a penchant for eating human brains, and it`s also a well-known fact only folks who don`t have any brains rely on public transportation.
My guess is that this young man is a frustrated zombie who ate the leather seat in desperation; he couldn`t find any human brains to devour.
A bus is a perfect place for a zombie to hang out; he fits in with the homeless, thugs, mashers, and other creeps who rely on public transportation.
Why is the bus company spending so much money for leather seats, when winos will urinate on them, thugs will slice them with knives, mashers will fondle them, and zombies will chew on them?
5 Things to Know About Zombies
The Bridgewater Township Library is holding its Zombie Party Thursday at 6 p.m. for grades six through 12, as everyone will be invited to see if they have what it takes to survive the Zombie Apocalypse. The party will include Zombie Trivia, Humans vs. Zombies tag and much more. So in honor of this exciting evening, we present five things to know about zombies.
Information from trivology.com.
- Completely Undead—Zombies are fictional characters that are brought back to life after death. Once back, they are said to feed on human flesh. They come back to life through some kind of magic.
- Programmed Robot—Supposedly, zombies are not conscious of having been brought back to life, and they act like robots with no other objectives.
- Long Popularity—Zombies have been popular in European and American cinema since the 19th century.
- Really Scary—Zombies are considered to be very scary villians in cinema because they are not afraid of anything. They also tend to pop up randomly in films, frightening those around them.
- Spread by Bite—Normally in films, if a zombie bites another human just once, that person will become a zombie too.
ARIZONA ZOMBIE PREPPERS – Necessities to survive the zombie apocalypse and where to get them
The zombie apocalypse is imminent. The particulars are still uncertain, but what does it matter, really? The world is about to be overrun by walking, cannibalistic corpses, and that’s all you need to know. If you want to survive this inevitable disaster, you have some shopping to do. Here are some essential items you can get at local stores:
Ruger 10/22 rifle: $250 at Second Amendment Sports
A .22 rifle is really all you need to kill zombies, because it doesn’t matter how big the hole is if you shoot them in the head. The Ruger 10/22 is one of the most popular rifles and is relatively cheap. It also makes a great gift for that special someone you’re hoping to repopulate the planet with.
Federal Ammunition Lightning .22LR Ammunition: $2 per 50-round box at Walmart
This higher-powered .22 ammo packs a bit more of a punch while still being dirt-cheap. Both the cheapest and the most important item on this list, ammunition will be the first thing stores run out of when the zombies attack, so buy lots of it now and go shoot some targets to hone your skills.
Gray-Nicolls Evo Slayer Youth Cricket Bat: $70 at Sports Authority
No zombie-killing arsenal would be complete without a solid wooden bat for close-quarters fighting, so why not class it up and smash skulls the British way? This particular cricket bat not only has a badass name but also has wicked tribal decals in a zombie-riffic black-and-green color scheme.
Alpinestars Bionic 2 Protection Jacket: $200 at Cycle Gear
Riding a motorcycle has its perks: better gas mileage, a high adrenaline rush and exponentially-increased risk of death. But did you know bikers also sometimes wear a suit of high-tech synthetic armor, which happens to be perfect for fighting zombies? This armored jacket is bite-proof and impact-resistant, so it should make significant headway in keeping you alive.
MSR MiniWorks EX Water Filter: $90 at REI
Any large-scale disaster, especially in Arizona, threatens the availability of clean drinking water. Having a good water filter means you can turn slimy green puddles into drinking water, so you don’t die of dehydration or dysentery. Don’t be the one who dies of chronic diarrhea in the middle of the zombie uprising, it’s just embarrassing.
REI Flash 62 Pack: $190 at REI
You’ll need a good backpack to carry your gear and any supplies you find while you’re on the move. This pack has lots of storage space, snazzy styling and puts the weight on your hips instead of your shoulders so you can carry more weight for a longer period of time.
Leatherman Blast Multi Tool: $55 at Sportsman’s Warehouse
Leatherman tools are basically Swiss Army knives on steroids. This one has a knife, saw, file, screwdriver, scissors, can-opener and pliers, making it invaluable for life after Z-Day. Cheaper versions exist, but this model is a good balance between cost and utility.
Total: $865
This might seem like a lot, but surviving the zombie apocalypse is priceless. Even the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention have taken notice, writing up a full guide for survival — clearly, this is a viable threat. You can find the CDC guide online at http://www.cdc.gov/phpr/zombies.htm.