Tag Archives: Apocalypse
Force the White House to Plan for the Zombie Apocalypse
Obama is grabbed by some zombies because he had no plan.Though a recent string of bizarre cannibalism incidents in Miami, Maryland, and Canada does not necessarily indicate that the zombie apocalypse has commenced, it’s really only a matter of time until it does. And what then? Amazingly, it doesn’t appear that the Obama administration has a plan for dealing with the greatest threat to our nation since terrorist anchor babies.
Luckily, there’s a solution. In 2011, the Obama White House created a website,We the People, where the American people can post and sign petitions on any issue they desire. If a petition receives 25,000 signatures within 30 days, “White House staff will review it, ensure it’s sent to the appropriate policy experts, and issue an official response.” So today, out of a sense of civic duty, we started a petition calling on the Obama administration to go public with a plan for the zombie apocalypse.
The petition reads:
Every government’s primary responsibility is the safety of its citizens. And yet the Obama administration has thus far failed to produce a plan for dealing the with the zombie apocalypse which, according to the Internet, could happen at any moment.
What’s the protocol for distributing vaccines/machine guns? Where will ragtag bands of uncontaminated, racially diverse strangers find safe haven? If President Obama turns into a zombie, will Joe Biden become president, or will Zombie Obama still be president?
These are just some of the questions that deserve serious consideration from the White House.
Please take a moment of your time to sign the petition and pass it on to others. Your future as a fully sentient human being may depend on it.
ZOMBIES IN THE BIBLE – THE DEAD COMETH
Zechariah 14:12
And the LORD will send a plague on all the nations that fought against Jerusalem. Their people will become like walking corpses, their flesh rotting away. Their eyes will rot in their sockets, and their tongues will rot in their mouths.
Zechariah 14:13
On that day they will be terrified, stricken by the LORD with great panic. They will fight their neighbors hand to hand.
There are several other biblical passages that allude to a plague that will decimate mankind in the end times.
Many people take the bible as the truth, and also see it as a book of prophecy. Could we have received warning of the impending rising of the undead from antiquity? We don’t have to go far to rationalize this. Prophets in ancient times may have seen exactly what happened, but didn’t understand the science behind it to describe it accurately. They may have seen the biological cause engineered in a lab and unleashed upon the world, but could only use simple words to describe it.
There are currently so many end times prophecies that it can make your head spin. Almost all of them don’t point to an exact cause of the apocalypse, but the bible seems to point to the undead several times
Revelation 11:6
These men have power to shut up the sky so that it will not rain during the time they are prophesying; and they have power to turn the waters into blood and to strike the earth with every kind of plague as often as they want.
Revelation 11:8
Their bodies will lie in the street of the great city, which is figuratively called Sodom and Egypt, where also their Lord was crucified.
Revelation 11:11
But after the three and a half days a breath of life from God entered them, and they stood on their feet, and terror struck those who saw them.
Ezekiel 37:10
So I prophesied as he commanded me, and breath entered them; they came to life and stood up on their feet–a vast army.
The bible is rife with resurrection, the dead coming to life, and stories and illiterations to the end of times. Perhaps, the plague God uses to wipe the earth clean is a plague of Zombies. You can also point to end times prophecy references of Locusts and say that zombies could also be considered as a locust, devouring all life. At this point, all we can do is speculate and prepare. We don’t know how or when the world will end, but we can be ready if it is survivable.
***Notes***
The end of the world can be described several ways:
1. A literal end, where the entire world is destroyed.
2. An end to the way the whole world sees itself.
3. A massive culling of the world’s population so that it is more in balance.
4. A massive culling of the world’s population so that it can be enslaved by those in power.
Colbert: Zombies Are Intellectual Elites – ‘All They Care About Is Braiiiiiiins’
College student eating a housemate’s heart? Homeless man eating another homeless man’s face? Porn star sending body parts to government members? “Cannibalism is the hot new trend,” observed Stephen Colbert on last night’s Colbert Report. “And you thought saggy pants were annoying.” The recent spate of these freak incidents in the news has wide swathes of the American public convinced we have a zombie apocalypse on our hands. “It does make one wonder,” Colbert said. “After all, something has clearly eaten [Fox News host] Trace Gallagher’s brain.”
So it came as a relief when the federal Centers for Disease control on June 1 told the Huffington Post that “CDC does not know of a virus or condition that would reanimate the dead (or one that would present zombie-like symptoms).” Colbert was not buying it, though, especially in light of a (tongue-in-cheek”) CDC “zombie awareness” campaign last year. “It makes sense that zombies would be attracted to science,” he said. “I mean, they’re intellectual elites. All they care about is braaaaaiiiiiinnnnns.”
ZOMBIE OUTBREAK CONTINUES – cannibal eats baby’s body parts
It looks like the real-life “zombie apocalypse” horror continues as now a San Antonio mother is accused of killing her baby son and eating some of his body parts. The crime allegedly happened early Sunday when the mom is believed to have used a knife and two swords in the killing and cannibal attack.
San Antonio police aren’t saying much about the horrific act, but the infant’s mom — Otty Sanchez — is accused of beheading her three-week-old baby, Scott Wesley Buchholtz-Sanchez, and eating some of his body parts. She munched on portions of his brain and bit off three of his toes were she stabbed herself twice. She’s said to have killed her baby at the “devil’s request.”
San Antonio Police Chief William McManus said the crime is “too heinous” to disclose more information than that.
Sanchez is being held on $1 million bail and is charged with capital murder. She’s currently recovering from her stab wounds at a local hospital.
Cannibal attacks and the zombie apocalypse fear are valid concerns with the number of gruesome incidents that have taken place the last week-and-a-half. The Miami cannibal attack, Maryland cannibal, and a Canadian porn star killer have set the scare in motion. Will the world see more of these crimes with the amount of attention it’s getting in pop culture?
THE DEAD SHALL RISE – Vampire skeletons discovery comes after zombie apocalypse scare
A discovery of vampire skeletons by scientists were found in Bulgaria. New of this comes on the heels of a bizarre zombie apocalypse scare from last week.
Archaeologists believe they’ve discovered centuries-old skeletons that were pinned down with iron rods going through their chests. It was a ritual done to the dead so they wouldn’t turn into vampires, FOX reports. The practice occurred in certain parts of Bulgaria and continued up until the turn of the last century.
Two skulls were found over the weekend near the Black Sea town of Sozopol in Bulgaria.
At the time time there was superstition that those who did evil when they were alive, would return from the dead and feast on the living’s blood. This prompted the hammering of iron rods through the dead’s chest bones and hearts.
Over 100 corpses around Bulgaria have been found stabbed as a way to prevent them from becoming vampires.
The latest news is a slight distraction from the horrific zombie apocalypse-like incidents that took place throughout the U.S. and Canada last week. At least this discovery is about skeletons, archaic beliefs, and traditional practices of the old ages. It’s seemingly less shocking compared to cannibalism!