Tag Archives: Apocalypse
ZOMBIE OUTBREAK – PLAN FOR SURVIVAL
“They’re coming to get you, Barbara.” Ever since George Romero’s 1968 classic “Night of the Living Dead,” America has been obsessed with zombies. But some days the zombie apocalypse doesn’t feel so far-fetched. Before you go boarding up your windows, loading your shotgun and stampeding to the nearest cellar, finalize your survival plan. After all, the directo of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, Ali Khan, noted in his “Zombie Preparedness” article, “If you are generally well-equipped to deal with a zombie apocalypse, you will be prepared for a hurricane, pandemic, earthquake or terrorist attack.” Oh, joy!
• Somebody has poisoned the water hole: Any viewer of AMC’s “The Walking Dead” knows all too well what happens when a “swimmer” gets into the water supply. The U.S. Geological Survey estimates that the average human can last about a week without water, so make sure to stockpile it before it gets contaminated.
You’ll need about a gallon of water per person per day. The six-gallon Reliance Desert Patrol container ($19.99) is durable and easy to carry. Fill up enough of them so that your water supply lasts several days.
Once you’re forced to abandon your shelter — and you most definitely will be — you’re going to need the Katadyn Pocket Water Microfilter ($295.90). Sold on Amazon, this filter is one of the best in the market for decontaminating outdoor water found in streams, rivers or puddles. The price is hefty, but the cost of drinking zombie guts is higher. .
• Don’t wind up on the menu: As long as you have water, you can survive 30 to 40 days without food. However, after a few days, your body and brain will go weak. In a stressful situation like a zombie assault, a sharp mind and healthy body are vital.
If MREs are good enough for battlefield combat, they’re (hopefully) good enough for zombie warfare. Load up on MREs (Meals Ready-to-Eat) ($94.99 for a 12-pack) from Nitro-Pak. If your mouth’s not watering yet, feast your eyes on the canned chicken, beef, pork and turkey ($55.99 for four 28-ounce cans) from Canned Chicken By Survival Cave Food. Mmm, almost as good as fresh brains!
• Dress to kill: You’re going to need some heavy-duty clothing — preferably something that can withstand a life-threatening bite. Zombie expert and author of “Zombie CSU” Jonathan Maberry suggests body armor made from carpet because it’s hard to chew through and can be found practically anywhere.
The Tru-Spec BDU Trouser 
For footwear, get something lightweight, durable and waterproof. The Converse 8877 Waterproof SideZip Tactical Boot ($99.99) is perfect. It even has arch support and heel cushions to supply comfort during those long treks through the city and wilderness.
• My personal weapon of choice is a machete for one simple reason: It doesn’t require reloading. The Condor Tool and Knife 14-Inch Golok Machete ($26.95) from KnifeCenter.com has a solid handle and razor-sharp edge perfect for sending heads a-flying.
• Always remember: Safety first! You’ll need to be able to patch up just about any injury on the go. The 299-piece All-Purpose First Aid Kit ($18.49) from Utility Safeguard includes everything from alcohol cleansing pads and aspirin to an emergency blanket and gauze dressing. The only thing this one-stop kit doesn’t offer is a cure for a zombie bite.
If you aren’t familiar with Max Brooks’ “The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection From the Living Dead” ($10.98), buy it at Barnes & Noble ASAP. The book covers everything from zombie physiology and defense tactics to how to prepare your home for a siege.
Another must-read is Roger Ma’s “The Zombie Combat Manual: A Guide to Fighting the Living Dead” ($13.98). It’ll coach you on how to emerge victorious from a close hand-to-hand battle with a living corpse.
Play video games while you still can. Get an Xbox 360 and buy “Left 4 Dead 2″ ($34.99) at GameStop. It lets you take on the infected with objects like a frying pan, ax, chainsaw and baseball bat. Grab some friends and play in multiplayer mode. Now you’ll know who is skilled with melee weapons. Start saying your goodbyes to the friends who aren’t.
ZOMBIE OUTBREAK CHINA – Face-Eater Attack in China
AN intoxicated bus driver has been detained after he gnawed on a female driver’s face 
after blocking her car on a road in Wenzhou City of Zhejiang Province, local media reported yesterday.
Police said the incident occurred near a bus station in Ouhai District at 2pm on Tuesday when a man surnamed Dong rushed onto the road and blocked the vehicle of a female driver surnamed Du, Wenzhou City News reported.
The man then climbed on the car’s hood and started hitting the windshield while Du screamed inside, police said.
Several minutes later, Du got out of the car to flee, but the man jumped on her and started gnawing on her face once they were on the ground, police said.
Passers-by said Du’s face was covered in blood. They said they tried to pull Dong off the woman, but he seemed so “crazy” that they couldn’t stop him.
Police stopped the man. Doctors at a nearby hospital said Du will need plastic surgery to repair the damage from the bites on her nose and lips.
Police said Dong had been drinking heavily with his friends at lunch that day.
ZOMBIE OUTBREAK – Are synthetic drugs creating zombies?
Zombies are no longer fictional characters that inhabit our movie screens. They have 
become “real” in the eyes of some people thanks to the new synthetic drugs that are young people have discovered.
HEADLINE from last week: “Man Eats Family Dog After Police Say He Ingested K-2.” This is not a “National Enquirer” headline. This came directly from the Waco, Texas, ABC TV affiliate.
Witnesses claim Michael Daniel assaulted people at his home, chased a neighbor, and began barking and growling. He then picked up the family dog, strangled it, and then began to eat it, hair, flesh and all. Family members claim Daniel was experiencing a bad trip after ingesting K-2.
This is only two weeks later after the infamous Miami incident, where a man, high on synthetic drugs, chewed off the face of a homeless man along a stretch of busy highway. Since then similar zombie/cannibal incidents have been reported in Manatee County, Florida, Maryland, Louisiana, and now Texas. The Maryland incident involved a man reported a man killing and then eating his roommate’s heart and brain. They all have been attributed to synthetic drugs.
Spice, K-2, potpourri, space, bath salts, etc. are forms of synthetic marijuana that until recently were legal and found in many stores. Essentially they are a mixture of dried herbs and spices mixed with chemicals. These drugs are undetectable by smell or drug testing and are quickly becoming the drug of choice amongst drug users.
Here in Clare County, the health department demanded that retailers take the synthetic drugs off their shelves. This is not the case, however, in other counties. One only has to make the short drive to Bay City where I’m told synthetics are sold at Earth Oddities, Kings and CB Discount.
I’m sure in short order, the sale of synthetics will be banned statewide. However, will that solve the problem? I don’t think so. Because they are readily available, cheap, and provide a quick high, drug users will continue to purchase the drugs illegally.
And that’s a problem. Along with the cannibalistic atrocities, several murders and violent crimes have been attributed to synthetic marijuana. If meth makes people hallucenogenic, synthetics drive some people to violent acts and craziness. It is, say many, the worst drug to come along in a long while.
It’s great that Clare County has prohibited the sale of synthetics. They acted quicker than a lot of counties in this regard. However, as many of us know, a lot of Clare County’s drug problem comes from downstate. Drug users continually run down to buy their drugs off of Detroit area streets to bring them back here to sell and use.
If one is to believe the zombie apocalypse is near- after all it is trending all over the internet, and we all know to believe everything we read on the internet, then we need to do everything we can to eliminate these drugs that make some people want to act like zombies.
More importantly, synthetic drugs, whether they are bath salts, K-2 or whatever, have no business being in the hands of irresponsible drug users. Let’s hope they get a clue, and get off the crap, asap.
ZOMBIE SURVIVAL – How to assemble your zombie response team
More than ever before the issue of possible zombie apocalypse has been on everyone’s minds. There was that face-eating guy, then another guy ate somebody’s brain just weeks later. In Canada (where I’m from) we also had a guy who comitted monstrous, zombie-worthy acts.
The other day, on my way to work I came across a woman sitting on a milk crate. She was surrounded by newspaper clippings about those recent news events and a bunch of hand-written posters that said “ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE COMING. SUN FLARES. AGE OF AQUARIUS.” I was intrigued enough to stop. I said, “What are you selling?” She looked at me, smiled and calmly said, “I’m not selling anything, darling. I’m just preaching. They’re coming.” I looked around for cameras because I am clearly in the movie about zombies… or is this the real thing?
The point is, maybe it’s time to start thinking seriously about how best to prepare for zombie apocalypse and most importantly – who should be on your zombie survival team. I know you’re probably thinking about the kid you used to know who spent his entire childhood studying military strategies and started his own playground army. Or about the guy you knew in high school who could break into that empty warehouse and throw a party complete with foam-making machine and fire-eating acrobats, or maybe the girl who’s was a science whizz in college and patented a biological warfare out of avocado skins. Sure, knock yourself out assembling all those nice people to be on your team, but you’ll still be missing the crucial member: The leader. What you really need is a new parent. No one is better prepared to lead a survival team – just check out the extensive characteristics and training that amount to creating a perfect zombie-resistance fighter like you’ve never seen before.
Physical stamina – Ability to lift extreme weights (toddler, toddler in a stroller) for prolonged periods of time while running through series of obstacles (stairs, taking the stroller on the bus) with only minimal nourishment (eating meals with toddler who demands a variety of dinners or, to be put on a potty or, to climb onto your lap or who simply grabs your food off of the plate and flings it across the room).
Mental stamina – From the Oxford Dictionary of Sports: “The ability to maintain a high level of motivation for long periods despite discomfort and discouragement; a component of endurance.” (Maternity leave?)
Endurance training – For example, prolonged periods of sleep deprivation combined with developing mental stamina (“Why is the cat black?” “Why is the cat a cat?”), with ability to judge quickly in surprising situations (sudden soiled diaper) while continuing to perform at top physical level (making it to daycare, work, playdate on time). This training is also customized for nighttime (“Why is it dark?” “What is night?”).
Excellent strategic planning – For example, tasks to be completed in limited time under duress (work starts at 9 am, daycare is 15 minutes away, it is 8:45, toddler just took all his clothes off for no reason) combined with additional external circumstances (such as sudden rainfall), and conflicting orders from the members of the team (parent #2 remembers important medical appointment at 9:10; there’s only one car).
Judgment – A situation (birthday party for toddlers) with an element of surprise (falling toddler/ a yellow ball that everyone wants to play with despite seven other balls available) that needs immediate resolution (catching toddler/ hiding the yellow ball).
Loyalty – Faithfulness to the team (family) despite extenuating circumstances (family is acting like jerks, everybody is crying, toddler smashed your iPad).
Combat abilities – From Wikipedia: “Combat is a purposeful violent conflict meant to weaken, or establish dominance over the opposition, or to kill the opposition, or drive the opposition away from a location where it is not wanted or needed.” Please note that after five hours of interrupted sleep, three cups of coffee, and I’ve got the power by Snap on repeat and a variety of surprise elements , a parent runs on pure adrenaline. Zombie? Come at me, bro.