Tag Archives: baseball bats
Best Car to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse
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Conquest Vehicles
Now that the Centers for Disease control has warned Americans to prepare for a possible “Zombie Apocalypse,” it may be a good time to rethink your upcoming automobile purchase.
If Hollywood has thought us anything over the years it’s that, while they are very susceptible to baseball bats, zombies are adept at jumping on cars and breaking through their windows in order to eat the brains of their occupants. Not to fear, there’s one vehicle that should keep your noggin intact.
The Knight XV from Conquest Vehicles wasn’t designed with the undead in mind (at least we don’t think that it was) but the mega-SUV is perfectly suited to the task at rotting hand. About twice the size of your typical HUMMER, the fully-armored truck could likely survive an assault by Team 6, let alone cracked fingernails.
Its opaque bullet-proof glass will keep you out of sight of glazed-over eyes, while ballistic run-flat tires should have no problem driving over the unkempt, bone-strewn streets of your town. It even runs on bio-diesel, so when the supplies run dry you can make your own fuel. Night-vision surveillance cameras and an external listening device serve as an early warning system and a high-power roof-mounted spotlight is just the ticket in case a few vampires find their way into the mix. Hey, you never know.
Granted, the price of survival is high at $300,000, but that’s about how much a three-bedroom costs in Pittsburgh – the location of “Night of the Living Dead” – and you won’t need one if you drive one of these. Its interior is upholstered in leather and Wilton Wool, comes with a flat-screen TV, refreshment bar and satellite TV to pick up the signal from any other survivors who might be out there.
Unfortunately, there’s no bathroom, so good luck with that. But it does come with a cigar humidor so you can live the good life to the fullest while you’re still alive. Hurry up, though, only 100 will be made and you don’t want to be the one stuck driving around in a convertible.
Practical Zombie survival
Practical Zombie survival
If you’ve gotten here in the last few moments before the zombies are breaking down your door, this is a good start. There’s a lot more specific detail about Zombie survival available here, both in the forums and other pages.
1. Stay Calm, if you loose your head now, you might just lose your head!
2. Remember, most Zombies are slow, you can probably get away if you follow a few simple rules.
3. There are a few important things to have with you now, like food, water, weapons, ammunition and a good flashlight.
4. If possible, try to secure your location. Shopping malls are a bad idea because of all the entrances, but you want a handy supply of the things you’ll need at your disposal, raiding parties to get supplies can be mounted, but only if you can secure your location.
5. In areas that the population is heavy, the infestation will be heavy as a side effect, a cabin in the woods sounds pretty good about now doesn’t it?
6. Do what you can to barricade every entrance, and for pete’s sake, stay put.
7. Always have an exit strategy.
8. I don’t care if she used to be your girlfriend, or if he was your best friend, if they’re bitten or killed by zombies, the only way you’ll see them again is as zombies, save yourself the pain, and put a slug in their head now.
9. Be as patient as possible, waiting for rescue, but start making your long term plans for survival now.
And I say again; Don’t get surrounded. You’re dead if you do!
Also, avoid common mistakes like:
* Using a vehicle, which you don’t have keys for, as a safe haven.
* Leaving simple weapons, like machete’s and baseball bats out where the Zombies might find them.
* Teaching Zombies things that might be detrimental to you, like the use of firearms
* Giving your only gun to the dude who’s lossing his marbles
* Hiding in the basment, but leaving your supplies on te kitchen counter
* Using the elevator in a Zombie infested building
* Fighting with your fellow survivors about little things, after all, we’re all in this together!
Internet will most likely go out before too long, or the power (generally speaking, no power = no internet) so you may want to take your laptop with you when you retreat to whatever safe haven you can find, and try to read more here about the specifics of zombie survival, before you lose the connection. I’ll be adding a downloadable PDF file to the site in the next few weeks that you might want to have handy, and should cover some basics, even if the internet goes out. You might want to print out copies so you can have it when the power fails.