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WTF Leprechaun “Zombie Apocalypse” – bizarre beating on the streets of Seattle
A mob of leprechauns reportedly carried out a vicious attack in the city of Seattle.
The victim of the attack claims a group of leprechauns beat him up in a Belltown area bar for dancing with the wrong girl. The police arrived to the bar to find the man covered in blood and screaming in pain.
When the officers asked him who had attacked him he said “It was a bunch of leprechauns.”
A witness at the scene confirmed a group of men beat him up.
The victim of the attack was taken to Harborview Medical Center with multiple head injuries and cuts and bruises to his face, back, knuckles and elbows.
The police have been unable to find the leprechauns involved.
This offbeat story has spread across news publications and websites like wildfire. By Friday afternoon the story was featured on BreakingNews.ie, Gawker, and on Downtown Seattle Komo. After weeks of media fixation on the “Zombie Apocalypse” fueled by the synthetic drug “bath salts” it seems the media are becoming obsessed with this leprechauns.
Gawker’s reporter stated “Following the recent proliferation of zombie-related news stories, it appears America has now moved on to attacks by other fantastical characters.”
They joked “The leprechauns have yet to be apprehended. Be vigilant all ye travelers.”
The Daily Mail took it even further saying “Just as the Zombie threat appears to finally be lifting it seems America could be at the mercy of an even deadlier menace.”
While obviously the leprechaun frenzy in Seattle is far less serious that the horrendous crimes committed under the influence of “bath salts” the media’s reaction to this Seattle man’s claims is something to behold
CDC visitors exposed to deadly germs?
Washington (CNN) — It’s a highly secured, sophisticated research lab studying deadly diseases such as bird flu, monkeypox, tuberculosis and rabies.
It’s in a facility called Building 18, which cost taxpayers $214 million.
And now, the Biosafety Level 3 lab at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in Atlanta is also the subject of a congressional investigation after a potentially dangerous airflow leak at that lab, CNN has learned.
The leak occurred on February 16, when air flowed the wrong way out of a germ lab into a clean-air corridor, rather than through the powerful HEPA filter that cleans the air, congressional sources and CDC officials said. Visitors touring the facility were in the clean corridor when they observed a puff of air being pushed out from the lab through a slot in a door window.
CNN recommends: Deadly bird flu could become airborne
If experiments had been under way at the time of that air leak, experts say, unprotected visitors could have been exposed to deadly germs, although an epidemic would have been unlikely.
According to U.S. Rep. Michael Burgess, a Texas Republican and a medical doctor, the House Energy and Commerce Committee has asked the CDC for documents about that incident. The request came in the wake of a report on internal CDC e-mails about the incident, first reported by USA Today last week.
“The biggest concern was that there was a contingent of visitors who were walking through the building,” Burgess said. “And had one of those people been stricken or made ill or worse, obviously that would have been devastating.”
The lab handles small mammals such as rats, ferrets and mice as part of its experiments with pathogens, according to CDC officials. They say animals were in the lab at the time of the air leak, but they were secured in filtered cages.
CDC officials say the lab was clean, was not active at the time, and no one got infected.
“At no time during recent incidents featured in the media were CDC workers or the public in harm’s way,” agency spokesman Tom Skinner said. “This unique facility features multiple security layers specifically designed to protect workers and the public in the event of an incident.”
In a statement released to CNN, Burgess’ committee said, “We will actively work to find out if there are additional concerns or incidents associated with Building 18. Any anomaly or breach is of concern, and we will work to ensure the integrity of the facility is maintained and that our scientists are safe.”
There has been at least one other safety-related incident in that same building where February’s air leak occurred.
In 2008, it was discovered that a high-containment lab door was sealed with duct tape. That incident was first reported by the Atlanta Journal-Constitution and confirmed to CNN by Skinner.
Robert Hawley, former safety chief at the U.S. Army Medical Research Institute of Infectious Diseases, said the CDC has many safety layers in place at its labs. Hawley says researchers at the Biosafety Level 3 lab work in biosafety “cabinets” within the lab itself.
“Nothing is handled outside that cabinet,” Hawley said. “So they’re working with minute amounts of material, and the chances of aerosol are negligible.”
But there are questions about a possible cover-up.
In an internal e-mail, reported by USA Today, CDC biologist Kismet Scarborough said the centers “… will do anything … to hide the fact that we have serious problems with the airflow and containment in this whole building.”
CNN has not been able to independently verify that e-mail. But in response, Skinner said, “CDC will continue to take an open, transparent and inclusive approach to address any safety challenge in a manner that will ensure the safety of our workforce and the public.”
Skinner said the agency “intends to cooperate fully with Rep. Burgess and the committee to address any questions they may have about Building 18 at CDC.”
Mutant bird flu would be airborne
Mutant bird flu would be airborne, scientists say
Here’s what it takes to make a deadly virus transmissible through the air: as few as five genetic mutations, according to a new study.
This research, published in the journal Science, is the second of two controversial studies to finally be released that examines how the H5N1 bird flu virus can be genetically altered and transmitted in mammals. Publication of both studies had been delayed many months due to fears that the research could be misused and become a bio-security threat.
Although these particular engineered forms of H5N1 have not been found in nature, the virus has potential to mutate enough such that it could become airborne.
H5N1 influenza can be deadly to people, but in its natural forms it does not easily transfer between people through respiratory droplets, as far as scientists know. The World Health Organization has recorded 355 humans deaths from it out of 602 cases, although some research has questioned this high mortality rate.
The journals Science and Nature had agreed to postpone the publication of the two studies related to the genetically altered virus.
In January, the National Science Advisory Board for Biosecurity recommended that this research be published without “methods or details” that terrorists might be able to use for biological weapons. The board also said the data could assist in preparing for a possible future outbreak, however.
Then in February, the World Health Organization convened a meeting, at which the recommendation was to publish the studies – just not yet. In April, the National Institutes of Health chimed in, also recommending publication.
The first study to be published on the topic was in the journal Nature, and was led by the University of Wisconsin-Madison researcher Yoshihiro Kawaoka. It was released in May.
The other research group, which authored the new study in Science, was led by Ron Fouchier at the Erasmus Medical Center in Rotterdam, Netherlands.
Both Kawaoka and Fouchier’s groups created a mutated version of H5N1 that made it easier to transmit from mammal to mammal. They used ferrets because these animals are a good approximation for how viruses behave in humans.
Fouchier’s study examines what mutations would be necessary to get the virus airborne. He and colleagues found five mutations consistent in a form of the H5N1 flu virus that could spread among ferrets through the air.
None of the ferrets died after developing the flu, the researchers said.
In a separate analysis, researchers looked at the likelihood that an airborne avian flu virus would evolve on its own from the H5N1 currently found in nature.
This study, also published in Science this week, looked at nearly 4,000 strains of influenza virus and frequently found two of the five mutations that appear to be involved in airborne transmission. These two mutations have been found in viruses from both birds and humans, although not in naturally-occurring H5N1 strains.
Derek Smith of the University of Cambridge, who co-authored that study, said at a press briefing that it’s possible that only three mutations are necessary for the virus to evolve.
Smith’s group also did mathematical modeling to look at whether the other mutations could evolve when the bird flu jumps to a human or other mammal.
“We find that it is possible for such a virus to evolve three mutations within a single host,” Smith said during the press call.
If it takes four for five mutations to become airborne, that would be more difficult – but it’s unclear just how likely it would be, Smith said.
While the Nature study looked at how a bird flu virus could become airborne through mutations and re-assortment with other viruses, the latest research in Science suggests mutations alone could do the trick.
Dr. Anthony Fauci, director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, told reporters that the benefits from the Science study, in terms stimulating ideas and pursuing ways to understand the transmissibility, adaptability and pathogenesis of the virus, outweigh the risks that someone will use the data for nefarious purposes.
“Does that mean that there’s no risk? No, of course not. I can’t tell you at all
that there’s no risk. But the benefits in my mind outweigh the risks,” he said.
Making the research available generally will hopefully spark input on this topic from researchers in a wide variety of fields, he said.
It is technologically possible to create vaccine based on the genetic code of a flu virus strain including this one, researchers said. Several companies are already making H5N1 vaccines.
Research is ongoing to accelerate the amount of vaccine doses available by using adjuvants, which are agents that modify the effects of vaccines, Fauci said. There is also work ongoing into using computational sequencing to anticipate every possible influenza strain that could emerge, such that a databank could be established to prepare for the outbreak of any one of them, he said.
“Right now we’re in a much, much better position than we were when we had vaccine available after the peak of the 2009 H1N1 two years ago,” Fauci said.
Best Car to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse
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Conquest Vehicles
Now that the Centers for Disease control has warned Americans to prepare for a possible “Zombie Apocalypse,” it may be a good time to rethink your upcoming automobile purchase.
If Hollywood has thought us anything over the years it’s that, while they are very susceptible to baseball bats, zombies are adept at jumping on cars and breaking through their windows in order to eat the brains of their occupants. Not to fear, there’s one vehicle that should keep your noggin intact.
The Knight XV from Conquest Vehicles wasn’t designed with the undead in mind (at least we don’t think that it was) but the mega-SUV is perfectly suited to the task at rotting hand. About twice the size of your typical HUMMER, the fully-armored truck could likely survive an assault by Team 6, let alone cracked fingernails.
Its opaque bullet-proof glass will keep you out of sight of glazed-over eyes, while ballistic run-flat tires should have no problem driving over the unkempt, bone-strewn streets of your town. It even runs on bio-diesel, so when the supplies run dry you can make your own fuel. Night-vision surveillance cameras and an external listening device serve as an early warning system and a high-power roof-mounted spotlight is just the ticket in case a few vampires find their way into the mix. Hey, you never know.
Granted, the price of survival is high at $300,000, but that’s about how much a three-bedroom costs in Pittsburgh – the location of “Night of the Living Dead” – and you won’t need one if you drive one of these. Its interior is upholstered in leather and Wilton Wool, comes with a flat-screen TV, refreshment bar and satellite TV to pick up the signal from any other survivors who might be out there.
Unfortunately, there’s no bathroom, so good luck with that. But it does come with a cigar humidor so you can live the good life to the fullest while you’re still alive. Hurry up, though, only 100 will be made and you don’t want to be the one stuck driving around in a convertible.
Zombie Apocalypse Has Begun! PREPARE PREPARE – Outbreaks Occurring Nationwide
Beginning in May, on a sunny day in Miami, Florida, America began living its very own
Zombie fantasy. As you know, there are thousands of homeless people in the world. Well 65 year old Ronald Poppo, who was one of these unfortunates, was walking in an alley of down town Miami, when 31 year old Rudy Eugene decided he looked delicious. Eugene was found naked under a bridge, chewing on Poppo’s face. The Miami police yelled at Eugene to stop, but he wouldn’t and for Poppo’s safety, the police shot at Eugene. They shot at him in the chest several times but he was still alive, after shooting him even more, Eugene dropped to the ground dead. Poppo is now in a hospital in Miami. He is doing fine and is to have physical therapy.
Poppo is not the only zombie victim in the U.S. there was a woman who ate part of her baby’s brain, three of its toes, and part of its intestines. There was another college student who killed and ate his roommate. That definitely makes me not want to live in dorms. There was another attack where the man threw his own intestines at the police officers. Finally, a Canadian porn star lost it and ate someone, oh and also threatened the Prime Minister.
Yes, there are finally Zombies in North America and who knows if they are in any other part of the world. There is nothing we can do about it. Let’s face it; we all know that this country is all pretty screwed up. There are some crazy people in the country.
People are starting to say that the Zombie apocalypse is almost here. When I was younger, my mother joked around about the zombie apocalypse. I got really scared. Little did know that I was going to write an article about Zombies. People are freaking out about this when you are actually pretty safe. There is a 0.25 in a 10 percent chance that you would be a Zombie victim. But just in case, you should be ready for the Zombies next attack.
Look, everyone knows that the Zombies are coming and there is nothing we can do about it. Just be prepared. This is the updated list of the do’s and don’ts, and how to tell if Zombies are in your town.
Let’s start.
How do you know there are zombies in your town?
Well, if you start hearing crazy people chanting to themselves, then yeah they are on the verge on Zombie-hood (or they are in a popular teen cult…either way, probably bad news). We all know that the crazy people are going to become zombies first because they were neglected and left to live on the streets. You can also tell there are Zombies in the town when you hear screaming and police cars all night long. And the final way to see if there are Zombies in your town is if you see a lot of new (but empty) graves. That means one of three things:
A- The Zombies have been crawling out of their graves.
B- There have been a lot of deaths, which means that they died from Zombies eating them.
C- That pesky teen cult thing again.
How do you prepare for a Zombie apocalypse?
Two words: Get Weapons.
When picking your weapons, you want to get something that you can shoot or throw or stab them with from a long distance because you don’t want to get the Zombie juice on you. The main weapon that you want is a gun. When you get a gun, your first choice is a hand gun. Hand guns can hold more bullets and you can empty and re-lode fast. They are easy for travel and you can put them almost anywhere. You want to make sure that you have more than one gun because the gun can get lost or broken. If you can’t get the gun, then you want a machete. Go ahead and cut off their heads. Make sure that you don’t get the Zombie juice in your blood through a cut or something…it will turn you into a Zombie. You can use pretty much anything, just kill the brain. Cut off the head then smash it. If you want you can burn it. Just don’t let any other Zombie eat the body because then the Zombie will get stronger.
After you get your weapons, you want to get a safe spot. I would say a basement because Zombies can’t lift heavy things or their limbs will fall off. Or you’re going to want to hide in an attic. You want to be as far away from a graveyard as possible. Try getting a cabin in the middle of the woods. Make sure that you have food storage because you don’t know how long you will be there.
How you know you got infected and what to do.
If you got any Zombie juice on you, and you didn’t disinfect it by burning the area you are probably on your way to being a Zombie. If it gets into your blood then kill yourself if you don’t what to become a Zombie. If you decide to kill yourself then you should knock yourself out and have someone throw you in a fire so you know that you won’t become a Zombie. If the Zombie juice gets in your system without you knowing the symptoms of Zombieitis, you’re going to want to go through this check list:
- Are you choking on nothing?
- Do you have green splotches on your skin, dizziness, and craving for raw meat? Especially Brains?
- Is your skin falling off like a leper?
If you said yes to any of these, you may want to kill yourself.
But you never know when they are going to crawl out of their grave…OH WAIT THEY HAVE!
Y’all had better stop reading and start killing the Zombies