Tag Archives: gun shop
8 Best Guns for the Zombie Apocalypse
So the zombies are at your door. Death is upon you, but the gun shop is just a block away. You make a run for it, and you make it to the most extensive armory for miles. Time to make a decision: Which guns do you grab? Contrary to popular belief, not every gun will do the job the same, so to help make up your mind on which guns will save your life, here are my eight best guns for the zombie apocalypse.
Glock 17
Without a doubt, the Glock G17 tops the list. It is dead-simple to use, but unusable by the undead. Anyone alive can figure it out — you can train your family on it in ten minutes. It is durable, ubiquitous and it takes perhaps the most common ammunition on the planet: 9mm Parabellum. Magazines hold an ample supply of skull-popping ammo. You do have to keep one thing in mind, though, while scavenging for ammo, magazines and spare parts in an abandoned police station; the G22 is just as common, but the magazines and some internal parts won’t work in your 9mm. Mixing 9mm and 40 cal magazines in your inventory, without proper markings will get your medulla oblongata munched.
10 doomsday preps that will get you killed
First things first: You need a firearm. The time for “common sense gun control” went out the window the second grandpa came back from the afterlife to make a sandwich out of your face. No matter what your political stance was before the uprising, you fucking love the Second Amendment now. You want the biggest, shiniest, loudest monstrosity possible. If there’s a gun that shoots a thousand bullets a second; that’s great. If there’s one that shoots a thousand flaming bullets a second; even better! If there’s a gun that shoots out other guns that all fire thousands of flaming bullets in mere seconds–like some sort of pyramid scheme comprised entirely of shredding death infernos–well, that would be just dandy. But even if you already have the god-king of firearms at your disposal, you’re still not ready. You need to arm everybody in your group, you need spares just in case and you need ammo. In short, you need to get to the gun store.
The only problem being: So does everybody else.
The closest gun shop to your house is also the closest gun shop to a thousand other people’s houses, and at least a few dozen of them are going to get there before you. Assuming that the place isn’t clean out–probably because the shop is either locked down like a fortress, or because the owners are barricaded inside and would rather like to keep their livelihood and defensive measures, thanks–you still need to get your arsenal. See, owners of gun stores tend to like guns, and people that like guns not only generally want to keep them, but are also quite capable of using them.
“You can have my gun… when you come down to my place of business and ask politely. I’ve got a lot, take one!”
Now you and a thousand other people are on the outside of a suburban fortress, hurling “pretty pleases” at a half-insane, heavily-armed, trained marksmen inside. Not only are you probably not coming away from the gun store with a shiny new weapon; you’d be lucky to get out of there without an impromptu sunroof installed in your skull.