..…”and it all changed in an instant”….”this will haunt us all, well at least those who made it out of the Tir na n’Og Garden” (which has since been dubbed The Dark Garden)… Mark McElligott (One of the 3 remaining survivors of the incident in “The Dark Garden”) ….”the sounds were those of a variety that will haunt the 3 of us for the rest of our days”….”we just happened upon them all feeding on a mixture of scavenged parts”…. Errol Englebrecht (One of the 3 remaining survivors of the incident in “The Dark Garden”) ….”It was a total sensory overload, the smell, the sounds, the heat generated”…”and yet we were all drawn to them as if they had the answers to why they were doing what they were doing”….. Chris Perna (One of the 3 remaining survivors of the incident in “The Dark Garden”) Gnombie Pandemic Continues to Spread BOSTON MA: The Gnombie Pandemic continues to reach an all time high with multiple sightings all over the Eastern seaboard of the United States which are now estimated to reach over 100 cases in just a mere week. “Staggering” was how one local law enforcement officer described the amount of 911 phone calls describing the sightings of “…these little garden freaks…” as referred to by the Medfield Garden and Lawn Ornament Emporium Proprietor Cliff Slater. “We had been having trouble with some of the local kids stealing from our shop at night so we decided to buy a guard dog. After a mere day on the job, all that was left was a collar, teeth, and many sets of tiny foot prints.” The rationale behind this recent insurgence of Gnombies is being investigated from every angle including an increase in overall home pesticide usage, the potential for any ancillary effects of acid rain or even a tertiary effect of the Nuclear Meltdown in Japan delivered via stratospheric gas transfer dumping this waste into bark mulch, peat moss, soil fillers. Investigations are still ongoing but for the time being, it is the advice of Bay State National Guard to follow the following instructions: Gardens should be avoided at all costs, weeding is not that important. Bring your animals inside and do not let them out until this situation has been stabilized. Look for little footprints in your garden, lawn, driveway, as well as, claw marks on your other lawn ornaments, front/side/garage doors and if you find any of these contact your local authorities immediately. Be careful who you pickup hitchhiking as they blend into society quite well SEND IN PICTURES IF YOU THINK YOU HAVE IDENTIFIED ONE! Stay tuned for a weekly update as this crisis continues.