Zombie Apocalypse Megastore

We’ve all grown up watching zombie films, from old black and whites to ‘Resident Evil’ to ‘The Walking Dead’, but people seem to believe that zombies may very well exist today, and that the CDC is covering it up. Creepy right? But everyone loves a good conspiracy.

Everyone may have heard by now of the ‘Miami Zombie’ attack back in May, where a man, Rudy Eugene, attacked a man, and proceeded to eat away large sections of the homeless man’s face. The responding police officer shot Rudy, and instead of going down, as any normal human would, Rudy turned to the police officer and growled, snapping his teeth like a rabid dog. The gunshots didn’t seem to phase him, and he was unnaturally strong, but soon succumbed after additional gunshots. The explanation? A variant of LSD “Bath Salts”, which is made from a three drug cocktail and causes hallucinations, psychosis, violence, and an immunity to pain.

But what has our every-day zombie conspirators in an uproar are the strange events that happened before, and after, this incident. Separately these incidents have no relevant pattern or meaning, but strung together they create the Zombie Apocalypse Theory. This Zombie Apocalypse list of attacks is still growing for 2012, please let us know if you know of other incidents in the comments.

Zombie Rash in Hollywood Florida May 16, 2012

15 Students and 2 teachers at McArthur High School in Hollywood, FL broke out in mysterious rashes. “Their arms and abdomens are covered in rashes,” says Fire-Rescue Division Chief Mark Steele as he spoke to the Miami Herald, “It happened pretty quickly, so we believe that this is something that’s very acute.”

What frightened people most was when the school was evacuated and a HazMat team came in to investigate. The students and teachers who were exposed were reportedly in a reading room, where no chemicals of any kind should have been. It began when a majority of a class of 21 students, walking from one classroom to the reading room, started developing itchy rashes and hives. The Florida Public Health and Medical Department arrived along with the Fire Department, and showered those affected in an area set up outside the school before being transported on a plastic lined school bus to Memorial Regional Hospital. After a time in the hospital, it was reported that the itchy rashes were the only symptom, and that everyone was stable. What caused the rash remains a mystery, and it was reported that the HazMat did not find anything suspicious and gave the all-clear.

May 18, 2012

An unknown chemical exposure shut down a terminal at the Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport. The chemical is still unknown, but a spokesman from the airport says that it appeared to be an aerosol can that discharged in someones luggage. It sent five people to the hospital with reparatory complaints. Officials say that more than 1,000 passengers and 14 flights were delayed because of it. Enough for a zombie theory? Not really, but its on the list.

Zombie Apocalypse in Illinois on May 21, 2012

A Bellwood man in La Grange, IL allegedly grabbed an 18-year old woman by the neck, twisted her right arm andbit her cheek while threatening to kill her if she called the police. The man, Lloyd Cortez, 18, was arrested.

Zombie Apocalypse in Lauderdale Lakes, FL on May 23, 2012

Another mysterious outbreak has officials completely baffled. Four 6th graders and a teacher at Lauderdale Lakes Middle School were examined by authorities after experiencing itchiness and bumpy red rashes, the same as the twelve students experienced a week before. HazMat returned to the scene after the school was put on lockdown for a second time. The incident has been named the cause of an “undetermined irritant” which is a fancy way of saying “we don’t know.”

May 25, 2012

EMS and HazMat crews respond to a school in Lake County when 27 children and adults came off of a school bus feeling ill. They has watery eyes and were coughing, and complained of an odd smell on the bus. The children and adults were washed down with hoses. The cause is still unknown although they believe it was a pesticidethe bus driver used to clean the bus earlier.

Zombie Apocalypse in Jamaica, FL May 25, 2012

A “disoriented” passenger rushed the front of a plane going from Jamaica to Miami after standing in his seat and ignoring the crew member’s instructions to sit down. He was subdued by some of the 165 passengers on flight 320. Ryan Snider has been arrested on federal charges, although according to the FBI this was not a terrorism-related incident. Though the question remains, if he truly was ‘disoriented’ in a medical way, why is he being arrested on federal charges?

Zombie Apocalypse in Miami, Florida May 26, 2012

The Miami Zombie attack, described above.

MIAMI CANNIBAL / Zombie FACE REVEALED, Rudy Eugene

Zombie Apocalypse in San Diego, CA May 29, 2012

An altercation began at a family gathering in the Spring Valley area of San Diego, resulting in the suspect, later arrested, biting off the nose of his cousin who was raced to the hospital.

Zombie Apocalypse in Baltimore, Maryland May 2012

About a week or so after the Miami Zombie incident, 21 year old Baltimore student, Alexander Kinyua, accused of killing his roommate, told police he did kill the victim, Kujoe Bonsafo Agyei-Kodi, and ate his heart and part of his brain. He hid the hands and head of the victim in his family’s basement laundry room. Earlier in May Kinyua was charged in another attack where the victim was brutally beaten but did survive.

Maryland Cannibal / Man Admits Eating Heart of Victim

Zombie Apocalypse in China Early July 2012

In Wenzhhou, in south east China, reports a bus driver named Dong was drinking heavily during lunch that day. He then suddenly ran out into the road and stood in front of a car begin driven by a woman named Du, stopping her from driving any further. Dong then climbed onto the hood of her car and began beating at the hood and windshield. The frightened woman screamed for help, then tried to escape, climbing out of her car and running. Witnesses say Dong leapt from the car and tackled her, wrestling her to the ground where he then began biting her face. Witnesses successfully wrestled Dong away from the woman and he was taken into custody. Du was taken to the hospital where doctors said she would need surgery to repair her nose and lips.

Zombie Incident on July 7, 2012

Officers respond to a scene a little before 4:30am to find two men restraining Jeremiah Aaron Haughee, age 22, naked in a puddle of urine and glass. The homeowners aokie to the sound of Haughee destroying their garden and outdoor furniture. He crawled up onto the roof, then leapt off, landing on the hood of their truck causing $1,500 worth of damage. The man then leapt onto the homeowner and bit him in the stomach. The homeowner will be permanently disfigured. Officers called for backup and put leg shackles and handcuffs on Haugee, they also used a spit hood and a stun gun to try and subdue him. Despite all this, Haugee then moved his cuffed hands from the back of him to the front while still kicking at the polices officers. They used the stun gun on him five times, and was then taken to the hospital and given Ketamine.

Naked Man Shot Three Times With Stun Gun – Another Cannibal?

– Cops in Canada are also searching for a low budget porn actor, Luka Rocco Magnotta, who allegedly killed a young man with an ice pick, dismembered the body, then proceeded to rape and eat the flesh from the corpse. He allegedly mailed some of the body parts to Ottawa, and is accused of killing cats on video and posting the footage online. Reports say he may be in France at the moment.

Luka Magnotta – Interview with a Psychopath

These instances have people wondering whats behind the flesh eating wave and the strange outbreaks in the various schools. According to the federal government however, a Zombie Apocalypse is the last thing we need to worry about and does not even exist. Over the years the CDC (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) has released a couple of “zombie warnings” which are actually just disaster preparedness stunts. But about a month ago they made it official: Zombies do not exist.