Tag Archives: weapons
ZOMBIE OUTBREAK – Swedish professor eats wife’s lips
And the zombie apocalypse just keeps on rolling. This time in Sweden an associate professor has given his wife incontrovertible grounds for divorce.
In an apparent attempt to punish the young lady with disfigurement, and to also make it impossible to reattach the lips, the professor cut her lips off, and then ate them. No mention of any fava bean side dishes was made in the English language edition of the article.
“He didn’t want the lips to be able to be sewn back on,” the unnamed source said, explaining why he had eaten them.
The professor has been ordered to endure a psychiatric evaluation. The DSM-IV TR (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) has no code listed for Zombie-ism at BehaveNet, and only obliquely references cannibalism as a form of psychopathology.
Ingela Ekman Hessius, the woman’s lawyer, reports the lady in question as in serious condition and is quoted as saying:
“She is of course not doing well, neither psychologically nor physically,”
Cases of apparent cannibalism have made the news and shocked many around the globe, Rudy Eugene, the Miami Causeway Cannibal, Luka Magnotta with a possible connection to a blog post at Digital Journal, Alexander Kinyua, and perhaps not the most gruesome, but arguably one of the stranger forms was Mao Sugiyamawho had his testicles removed and then cooked and served them to diners.
As for me and my house, I am placing a rush order at my local weapons supply store for at least one box of Zombie Max bullets. The Hornady company notes that the ammunition in question is specifically designed for use on zombies and the disclaimer on the Hornady website is:
Disclaimer: Hornady® Zombie Max™ ammunition is NOT a toy (IT IS LIVE AMMUNITION), but is intended only to be used on…ZOMBIES, also known as the living dead, undead, etc. No human being, plant, animal, vegetable or mineral should ever be shot with Hornady® Zombie Max™ ammunition. Again, we repeat, Hornady® Zombie Max™ ammunition is for use on ZOMBIES ONLY, and that’s not a nickname, phrase or cute way of referring to anybody, place or thing. When we say Zombies, we mean…ZOMBIES!
Read more: http://www.digitaljournal.com/article/326447#ixzz1xUs3Aocf
Zombie Ammo – Be prepared US Ammo is Zombie Ready
A weapon against zombies is being sold across the US after a series of cannibal attacks shocked the country. The largest independent producer of bullets in the world says their Zombie Max ammunition is a response to the flesh-eating crimes.
Hornady Manufacturing Company, an American maker of ammunition and hand-loading components has decided to cash in on current zombie terror.
Zombie Bullets are designed for those who want to be ready and fully-equipped for what the company calls “a Zombie Apocalypse.”
Zombie fascination is also bouncing around the internet, recently becoming the third most-popular search term on Google. Conspiracies and expectation of the Zombie Apocalypse have even forced the US Center for Disease Control to address the American public and deny the threat.
But the move has obviously failed to calm the situation down.
Hornandy say their bullets are sure to kill for good.
“Be PREPARED – supply yourself for the Zombie Apocalypse with Zombie Max ammunition from Hornady! Loaded with PROVEN Z-Max bullets… MAKE DEAD PERMANENT!” – says the promotion on the company’s website.
Image from wvoutpost.com
Company spokesman Everett Deger told WWJ Newsradio 950: “We decided just to have some fun with a marketing plan that would allow us to create some ammunition designed for that … fictional world.”
He also added that Zombie Max and Z-Max bullets are Hornady’s most successful products.
But it’s not just weapons. Principles of theoretical defense against zombies are also proving popular in the US right now. A Zombie Apocalypse Survival Class is being offered in the city of Conover. About a dozen people paid between $50 and $75 to take the first lesson Thursday night, WCNC.com reports.
“We focus on self-defense, firearms and how to handle apocalyptic situations. It could be anything from a nuclear bomb to a hurricane to an enemy invasion,” says Jack Simons, Jr., the course creator.
He added that it is “Basically, a survival course with a zombie theme.”
A recent outbreak of bizarre attacks triggered zombie conspiracies across the US. Some blame drugs, others believe it’s a psychiatric issue, but macabre zombie-style crimes have put the country on undead alert.
Last week, a man in Miami attacked and ate the face of his victim – a homeless man, and was shot dead by police. The victim survived, but doctors are having a hard time piecing his face together. Then, an engineering student in Maryland allegedly stabbed a man to death and ate his heart and brain. In Canada, police are on the hunt for a porn actor who reportedly slaughtered, dismembered, sexually violated the body and then ate his victim.
The zombie paranoia inspired two young men in Miami to stage a prank: video shot by an operator hiding in a parked car shows a young man wearing a blood-stained shirt. The“zombie” approaches passers-by with a roar and attacks them from behind. Vividly recalling recent bloody events in the city, most locals run away in a panic. The video quickly became an online hit.
Zombie-proof condos all sold out in Kansas, Canadians still have options
The units built out of an old missile silo had a list price of $2 million
If you are looking for something to protect yourself when zombies attack, we may have
found just the abode for you. The only problem: the zombie-proof condos in Kansas have all sold out.
According to the Survival Condo website, all eight units have been purchased, although one sale is still pending.
The 1,820-square-foot condos come with an indoor pool (definitely not above ground) and spa, exercise facility, classroom, library, movie threatre, minor surgery centre and an elevator. Owners also get off-the-grid power thanks to a wind turbine and solar panels. Next to the sold notice, the website also states that they “now have an in-house dentist/orthodontist!!!!” on level 3a. Oh and did we mention it comes with a weapons cache.
All of this went for $2 million for a full floor.
The place was rated by Mother Nature Network as one of the “best U.S. places to survive the apocalypse.”
The condos weren’t dug into the ground, but are made from an old missile silo in Concordia, Kansas. The silo was build to withstand a nuclear explosion and according to Rocket City News is considered to be “one of the strongest structures built by man.”
“Construction is well under way,” reads the Survival Condo website. “The new steel structure is built and the top five floors are poured and being built out for the owners. The new septic system is complete and the new water system is nearing completion.”
If you weren’t one of the people who were able to purchase a zombie-proof home, the B.C. government has put together some advice on fending off the brain eaters. It recommends having a full gas tank, having an emergency kit in your home, office and car and having an out-of-province contact.
It launched a blog on the Emergency Info BC website in May to tell people what to do in case of a real emergency such as an earthquake, flood or tsunami.
A recent survey found nine per cent of Canadians believe the Mayan prediction that the world will end in 2012. In the event this minority’s belief is correct, escaping into a bunker is an option in Canada. Bruce Beach has built the world’s largest privately-constructed nuclear fallout shelter in Horning’s Mills, Ont., about an hour and a half from Toronto. It’s called Ark Two. The shelter is constructed from the shells of 42 school buses, which were buried underground in the 1980s as moulds for the poured concrete bunker.
(Image from Survival Condo)
The dangers of bragging about your zombie defense preparation
You are prepared for the zombie apocalypse.
You’ve stocked up on canned goods and ammunition. Your fortified treehouse is built high in the Rocky Mountains. You’re an expert marksman proficient in several different kinds of firearms. You’ve got your pilot license, your Wilderness EMT training, your black belt in Judo, and you’ve won the blue ribbon at the county fair three years running for your green thumb. You know how to make a weapon out of three paperclips and a crumpled Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup wrapper, and you can survive on nothing but tree bark and fingernail clippings for weeks.
You, sir or madam, are prepared for the day when the dead replace the living as the dominant species on Earth and theBRAAAAINS hit the fan. But that doesn’t mean you need to advertise the fact.
It might be tempting to brag to all your friends and neighbors (the ones you haven’t carefully selected as your zombie apocalypse companions for their special skills and ability to remain calm in the face of gruesome death) about how ready you are for the eventuality of zombies. But you must resist the temptation.
Those same people who consider you their “crazy zombie-obsessed friend” today will turn to you for help when the need arises. And when the need arises, corpses will be feasting on the living in the streets and society will face a swift and brutal collapse, so it’s fair to say that those less prepared than you will not be at their most rational or diplomatic.
Being burdened with several unprepared would-be survivors could spell doom for any meticulously planned survival strategy. These are the people who considered your little zombie fixation an “adorable quirk” and tolerated your defense preparations because you were their friend. They have done nothing on their own to make them a valuable asset in the post-zombiepocalyptic world. And they will drag you down.
At the first sign (Or maybe the second or third, since let’s face it: People tend to resist the most obvious explanation) of a zombie outbreak, these acquaintances will come running to you for help. They won’t know that they are merely zombie fodder waiting to happen, but you will. You cannot let them slow you down.
So keep your zombie defense preparations to yourself as much as possible. Don’t go bragging about how you’ll be living large on SPAM for years while they’re shambling about munching on carrion… and being carrion. It might feel good to boast now, but when that government experiment goes awry and corpses start clawing their way up from the grave, you don’t want to be saddled with a bunch of under-prepared dead weight.
Unless you like the idea of using bait, that is.
Stay informed, stay alive: What are some of your zombie defense preparations? Don’t worry, I won’t tell those pesky neighbors who laugh at you for your underground bunker now but will be moaning and shambling about your yard a minute after the first sign of a zombie outbreak.
How to Survive Miami’s Zombie Apocalypse, According to Zombie Expert Jonathan Maberry
According to authorities, there’s a good chance that last week’s face-eating incident was the result of mind-altering drugs. (Just say no, kids.)
But according to the rest of us, it may signal the beginning of an inevitable threat Hollywood has warned us about for years: a zombie apocalypse. (Just ask The Miami zombie.)
Naturally, we’re all a little concerned that the undead may choose our sunny paradise as their next city of smorgasbord. After all, the heat is nice and lubricating for their stiff limbs.
So, in the interest of being prepared, we spoke to zombie expert Jonathan Maberry, author of Zombie CSU: The Forensics of the Living Dead on how best to survive a zombie apocalypse. Y’know, just in case.
Cultist: I’m sure you heard about the recent face-eating zombie attack in Miami. Any commentary?
Maberry: Within a few hours of the report hitting the news I was inundated by emails, IMs, Facebook and Twitter posts telling me, in essence, that the stuff I’ve been writing may not be fiction.
What would you say is the top rule of zombie survival?
Don’t be the dumb loudmouth in your group of survivors. These days, folks are likely to feed you to the zoms and make their escape during the chow-down.
What weapons or supplies should we procure to prepare ourselves?
In my series of teen post-apocalyptic zombie novels (Rot & Ruin, Dust & Decay, etc.) the smartest object of defense isn’t a gun or knife — it’s body armor made from carpet. You can’t really bite through it and there’s carpet everywhere. In the movies, the characters always run out into a crowd of zoms wearing ordinary clothes. I’d tear up the carpet, secure it with some duct tape (and we all have duct tape), and then stroll through the crowd of frustrated zombies.
Can we ply them with any other food besides human flesh?
If we accept the movies of George Romero as “zombie canon,” then the living dead eat everything — humans, animals, insects. We can always breed food for them. And it would provide jobs for farmers in a troubled economy.
How do zombies react to hot weather?
Zombies would thrive in hot weather. The heat keeps them limber. Cold would freeze them solid since body heat comes from blood flow. Of course, as the temperature rises, the zoms would spoil pretty quickly. Smelly … but eventually they’d fall apart.
Can zombies swim?
Zombies wouldn’t be a threat in the water. The freshly killed ones would sink like a stone without air in their lungs for buoyancy. The rotting ones might float because of gasses released by putrefaction, but they would lack the coordination for the mechanics of swimming and couldn’t strategize on how to overcome tides and currents. So, a great way to survive the zombie apocalypse is to strap on that Speedo and take a dip.
Are there different varieties of zombie?
There are several classifications of zombies. The old-school zombies are the raised dead used as slaves by priests of the Haitian religion of vodou. Since the 1960s we’ve come to hang the “zombie” nickname on flesh-eating ghouls of the Romero kind, and these are slow-moving, mindless corpses. Then there are the fast zombies, as introduced first in the film Return of the Living Dead (1985) and made famous in the 2004 Zack Snyder remake of Dawn of the Dead. Then you have the “rage virus-infected,” who are mindless humans infected by a disease that makes them kill everyone they meet. They were first introduced in George Romero’s 1973 flick The Crazies, then later became wildly popular in Danny Boyle’s 2002 classic, 28 Days Later and the 2010 remake of The Crazies. Oh, and Europe is famous for its demonically possessed zombies, and there have been a zillion of those films.
What’s the most common misconception about zombies?
The most common misconception about zombies is that the disease only spreads through bites. However Romero established that everyone who dies, no matter how or why, will rise as a zombies. Bites simply make it happen faster.
So there you have it. Get ready to tear up that carpet and make a swim for it, Miami.