Tag Archives: zombies

5 Things to Know About Zombies

The Bridgewater Township Library is holding its Zombie Party Thursday at 6 p.m. for grades six through 12, as everyone will be invited to see if they have what it takes to survive the Zombie Apocalypse. The party will include Zombie Trivia, Humans vs. Zombies tag and much more. So in honor of this exciting evening, we present five things to know about zombies.

Information from trivology.com.

  • Completely Undead—Zombies are fictional characters that are brought back to life after death. Once back, they are said to feed on human flesh. They come back to life through some kind of magic.
  • Programmed Robot—Supposedly, zombies are not conscious of having been brought back to life, and they act like robots with no other objectives.
  • Long Popularity—Zombies have been popular in European and American cinema since the 19th century.
  • Really Scary—Zombies are considered to be very scary villians in cinema because they are not afraid of anything. They also tend to pop up randomly in films, frightening those around them.
  • Spread by Bite—Normally in films, if a zombie bites another human just once, that person will become a zombie too.

ARIZONA ZOMBIE PREPPERS – Necessities to survive the zombie apocalypse and where to get them

The zombie apocalypse is imminent. The particulars are still uncertain, but what does it matter, really? The world is about to be overrun by walking, cannibalistic corpses, and that’s all you need to know. If you want to survive this inevitable disaster, you have some shopping to do. Here are some essential items you can get at local stores:

Ruger 10/22 rifle: $250 at Second Amendment Sports

A .22 rifle is really all you need to kill zombies, because it doesn’t matter how big the hole is if you shoot them in the head. The Ruger 10/22 is one of the most popular rifles and is relatively cheap. It also makes a great gift for that special someone you’re hoping to repopulate the planet with.

Federal Ammunition Lightning .22LR Ammunition: $2 per 50-round box at Walmart

This higher-powered .22 ammo packs a bit more of a punch while still being dirt-cheap. Both the cheapest and the most important item on this list, ammunition will be the first thing stores run out of when the zombies attack, so buy lots of it now and go shoot some targets to hone your skills.

Gray-Nicolls Evo Slayer Youth Cricket Bat: $70 at Sports Authority

No zombie-killing arsenal would be complete without a solid wooden bat for close-quarters fighting, so why not class it up and smash skulls the British way? This particular cricket bat not only has a badass name but also has wicked tribal decals in a zombie-riffic black-and-green color scheme.

Alpinestars Bionic 2 Protection Jacket: $200 at Cycle Gear

Riding a motorcycle has its perks: better gas mileage, a high adrenaline rush and exponentially-increased risk of death. But did you know bikers also sometimes wear a suit of high-tech synthetic armor, which happens to be perfect for fighting zombies? This armored jacket is bite-proof and impact-resistant, so it should make significant headway in keeping you alive.

MSR MiniWorks EX Water Filter: $90 at REI

Any large-scale disaster, especially in Arizona, threatens the availability of clean drinking water. Having a good water filter means you can turn slimy green puddles into drinking water, so you don’t die of dehydration or dysentery. Don’t be the one who dies of chronic diarrhea in the middle of the zombie uprising, it’s just embarrassing.

REI Flash 62 Pack: $190 at REI

You’ll need a good backpack to carry your gear and any supplies you find while you’re on the move. This pack has lots of storage space, snazzy styling and puts the weight on your hips instead of your shoulders so you can carry more weight for a longer period of time.

Leatherman Blast Multi Tool: $55 at Sportsman’s Warehouse

Leatherman tools are basically Swiss Army knives on steroids. This one has a knife, saw, file, screwdriver, scissors, can-opener and pliers, making it invaluable for life after Z-Day. Cheaper versions exist, but this model is a good balance between cost and utility.

Total: $865

This might seem like a lot, but surviving the zombie apocalypse is priceless. Even the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention have taken notice, writing up a full guide for survival ­— clearly, this is a viable threat. You can find the CDC guide online at http://www.cdc.gov/phpr/zombies.htm.

Doomsday 2012: If Not Zombies then….UFO’s, Planet X and Other Heavenly Bodies

Doomsday 2012: If Not Zombies then….UFO’s, Planet X and Other Heavenly Bodies

By Jim Donahue

After careful reflection and some prompting from certain individuals, I feel as though I have forgotten to mention some material in regards to what might happen on 12/21/2012. So for the moment, the next installment, Doomsday 2012: How to Prepare and Survive the Event, is on hold while I touch on some other perspective problems.

UFOs have been a hot topic of debate all over the world for eons. What with more than one airline pilot admitting to have seen a UFO, it would appear that they do in fact exist. In fact, in México City, UFO sightings are a daily happen stance. And there are other places around the globe where similar things occur.

The History Channel has a series Ancient Aliens attempts to deal with this phenomenon from a factual standpoint. It comes off as factual to some degree, but in the end, it’s just entertainment. One of the show’s most well-known contributors, Erich von Däniken, author of the book, Chariots of the Gods? Is accepted as gospel by true believers.

The background information for the series, posted on the channel’s website, says, “According to ancient alien theorists, extraterrestrials with superior knowledge of science and engineering landed on Earth thousands of years ago, sharing their expertise with early civilizations and forever changing the course of human history. Ancient alien theory grew out of the centuries-old idea that life exists on other planets. The space program played no small part in this as well: If mankind could travel to other planets, why couldn’t extraterrestrials visit Earth?

Most ancient alien theorists, including von Däniken, point to two types of evidence to support their ideas. The first is ancient religious texts in which humans witness and interact with gods or other heavenly beings who descend from the sky—sometimes in vehicles resembling spaceships—and possess spectacular powers. The second is physical specimens such as artwork depicting alien-like figures and ancient architectural marvels like Stonehenge and the pyramids of Egypt.

Alex Knapp of Forbes.com says, “I find it incredible and frightening that a worldwide distributed television channel that bills itself as ‘The History Channel’ can broadcast such rubbish as Ancient Aliens. If it were an entertainment program, I’d have fewer worries (although it would still make me cross); it is the implied authority of the channel (‘The History Channel,’ not just any old ‘History Channel’) that makes the broadcast of this series so potentially damaging as we saw in the reaction of the forum poster quoted above. A channel that is making claims for its authoritative status, which offers educational resources, has a responsibility not to mislead its viewers (no doubt its executives think of them as ‘customers’). That responsibility is one that all makers and broadcasters of supposedly factual television have, but one that few of them take seriously: the responsibility to check facts.”

Okay, now let’s talk about Planet X. Planet X, also known as Nibiru, is a mysterious object that orbits our sun every 3600 years. This object has a very significant connection to the Mayan calendar date of 2012. There is so much information about what is happening in our solar system that even the local news channels report that there are signs of planet X. Dr. Michio Kaku a renowned scientist claims that scientists like him had made a mistake. He made a statement saying that scientific data regarding the passing of Planet X passing through our solar system was off by a factor of 20. What this means is that scientists had previously misinterpreted the difference between a X class solar storm and the new catastrophic Y class solar storms detected in 2003 from hitting the Earth. This corrected data makes an immensely distinct difference between a survivable X class solar storm versus an incredibly strong Y class solar storm that would disrupt the world so harshly with the possible result of setting humanity back towards a third world economy across a global scale. This is a very real difference in data and a very real threat to mankind. And so it goes. We may have a near Earth object collide with our planet.

There is also increased interest in Earth’s moon. Some say it’s a landing base and operations center for aliens. Rumor has it that the American government has marked as classified a lot of information about findings on the Moon. In 1988, a prominent Chinese official, a member of the nation’s space program, unveiled pictures of human footprints on the lunar surface. The official stated that he had received the information from a reliable source and accused the Americans of concealing that information. The photos were dated from August 3, 1969 – two weeks after Armstrong and Aldrin stepped onto the surface of the Moon on July 20, 1969. Therefore, the materials of the lunar mission were studied and classified by NASA.

On March 15, 2009, The New York Times produced another sensation. The same Chinese official, Mao Kan, stated that he had obtained over than 1,000 secret NASA photographs depicting not only human footprints but also a human carcass on the surface of the Moon. Some of the bones in the carcass were missing, the official said. The human corpse must have been dropped on the Moon from an alien spaceship, but the extraterrestrials kept some tissue samples for research.

The photos were taken by a lunar probe. The absence of air makes it possible to capture minute details from the lunar orbit. The pictures of the carcass were very clear.

Dr. Ken Johnston, former manager of the Data and Photo Control Department at NASA’s Lunar Receiving Laboratory, said that US astronauts had found and photographed ancient ruins of artificial origin on the Moon. Supposedly, US astronauts had seen large unknown mechanisms on the Moon. This data was classified by the US government.

Some folks are true believers, and others are skeptical. Which are you?

ZOMBIE PREPPERS – Using zombies to teach science and medicine

With my colleague Greg Tinkler, I spent an afternoon last week at a local public library talking to kids about zombies:

The Zombie Apocalypse is coming. Will you be ready? University of Iowa epidemiologist Dr. Tara Smith will talk about how a zombie virus might spread and how you can prepare. Get a list of emergency supplies to go home and build your own zombie kit, just in case. Find out what to do when the zombies come from neuroscientist Dr. Greg Tinkler. As a last resort, if you can’t beat them, join them. Disguise yourself as a zombie and chow down on brrraaaaiiins, then go home and freak out your parents.

Why zombies? Obviously they’re a hot topic right now, particularly with the ascendance of The Walking Dead. They’re all over ComicCon. There are many different versions so the “rules” regarding zombies are flexible, and they can be used to teach all different kinds of scientific concepts–and more importantly, to teach kids how to *think* about translating some of this knowledge into practice (avoiding a zombie pandemic, surviving one, etc.) We ended up with about 30 people there: about 25 kids (using the term loosely, they ranged in age from maybe age 10 to 18 or so) and a smattering of adults. I covered the basics of disease transmission, then discussed how it applied to a potential “zombie germ,” while Greg explained how understanding the neurobiology of zombies can aid in fleeing from or killing them. The kids were involved, asked great questions, and even taught both of us a thing or two (and gave us additional zombie book recommendations!)

For infectious diseases, there are all kinds of literature-backed scenarios that can get kids discussing germs and epidemiology. People can die and reanimate as zombies, or they can just turn into infected “rage monsters” who try to eat you without actually dying first. They can have an extensive incubation period, or they can zombify almost immediately. Each situation calls for different types of responses–while the “living” zombies may be able to be killed in a number of different ways, for example, reanimated zombies typically can only be stopped by destroying the brains. Discussing these situations allows the kids to use critical thinking skills, to plan attacks and think through choice of weapons, escape routes and vehicles, and consider what they might need in a survival kit.

Likewise, zombie microbes can be spread through biting, through blood, through the air, by fomites or water, even by mosquitoes in some books. Agents can be viral, bacterial, fungal, prions or parasitic insect larvae (or combinations of those). Mulling on these different types of transmission issues and asking simple questions:

“How would you protect yourself if infection was spread through the air versus only spread by biting?”

“How well would isolation of infected people work if the incubation period is very long versus very short?”

“Why might you want to thoroughly wash your zombie-killing arrows before using them to kill squirrels, which you will then eat?” (ahem, Daryl)

can open up avenues of discussion into scientific issues that the kids don’t even realize they’re talking about (pandemic preparedness, for one). And the great thing is that these kids are *already experts* on the subject matter. They don’t have to learn about the epidemiology of a particular microbe to understand disease transmission and prevention, because they already know more than most of the adults do on the epidemiology of zombie diseases–the key is to get them to use that knowledge and broaden their thinking into various “what if” situations that they’re able to talk out and put pieces together.

It can be scary going to talk to kids. Since this was a new program, we didn’t know if anyone would even show up, or how it would go over. Greg brought a watermelon for some weapons demonstrations (household tools only–a screwdriver, hammer and a crowbar, no guns or Samurai swords) which was a big hit. Still, I realize many scientists are more comfortable talking with their peers than with 13-year-olds. Talking about something a bit ridiculous, like an impending zombie apocalypse, can lessen anxiety because it takes quite a lot of effort to be boring with that type of subject matter; it’s entertaining; and kids will listen. And after all, what you don’t know, might eat you.

10 Essentials for Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse: A Practical Guide

In many ways, vampires and zombies are two sides to the same coin. Both are undead. Both spread their condition through bites. Both have specific methods in which they can be killed. But vampires are the patricians of the undead with fussy European accents, bright sparkly skin, cheerleader girlfriends, tailored suits, and slinky party dresses. Zombies, on the other hand, are strictly blue-collar and, I daresay, typically American. They roam the streets, disheveled, dispossessed, homeless. They are the middle class, marginalized into oblivion.

Taken singly, zombies are slow, idiotic, and relatively easy to kill. Laughable, even, with their witless drive and ungainly movements. One zombie? Destroy the brain, drop the shambler. But collectively, zombies are an inexorable force, knocking down chain-link fences, busting through windows, treating your neighbors like bowls of spinach dip. They’re the ultimate union. And their collective bargaining powers can’t be legislated away.

To survive the zombie apocalypse, you’re going to need a plan. Survival means you’re going to have to accept the blue-collar ethos that the zombies embody. Time to roll up your sleeves, put on your best Mike Rowe face, and get ready to do some dirty work. In no particular order, here are 10 essential items for surviving the zombie apocalypse. For a more in depth exploration into zombie apocalypse survival techniques and items, feel free to check out This Dark Earth, my zombie survival treatise-cum-novel. Wait. Not a cum-novel. Strike that last bit. Sheesh, you people.

1. Running Shoes
There’s a reason they’re called the walking dead. They don’t jog. They definitely don’t sprint. And if you’re in reasonably good shape, heart and lungs and brains in working order (in addition to being absolutely scrumptious), once the dead rise you’ll be getting a hellacious cardio workout. Good shoes are essential.
The world’s gone horribly pear-shaped and there’s shamblers toddling about everywhere, including the aisles of your local Whole Foods. Keep some granola bars handy. They’ll give you the burst of energy you need to scale the side of the building from the fifth floor to the roof, make the flying leap over to the fire escape. Also, just because the world has ended doesn’t mean you need to forget about having enough fiber in your diet.
Bet you thought I was going to say shotgun, didn’t you? Nope. Firing a gun in any semi-populated area after Zombieggedon is tantamount to ringing a big-ass dinner bell. What you need is a good old headknocker for up close wetwork. Up close and personal zombie disposal without drawing a crowd of shamblers.

Headknockers come in a variety of shapes and sizes. You can find one in every garage, every toolbox in America. A hammer, a hatchet, a crowbar, a two-by-four. A Louisville slugger. Destroy the brain and you’re good to go. Big plus: relatively quiet and no need to reload.

They secrete fluids from the mouth, the nose. Goo pours from their eyes and ears and other orifices. And that’s just the living homo sapiens. Zombies are a bajillion times worse and absolutely teeming with bacteria. You’ll need some wet-naps for cleaning up after a good session of ooey-gooey headknocking.
The Surgeon General recommends six to eight cups of water a day, on average. But since you’re gonna be running, jumping, climbing, and screaming all day long, you’ll probably need more. Get used to drinking from toilets.
Let’s face it. America is fat and only getting fatter. I’m just ballparking numbers here, but let’s say the average American weighs 170 pounds. So, New York is gonna have… Let’s see, 9 million times 170… New York’s gonna have 1,530,000,000 pounds of rotting human flesh sashaying about. That’s a billion and a half to you and me. You’re gonna want to sprinkle some Old Spice on your bandana and wrap it around your face to help with the stench.
Remember that leather jacket you got back in 1997 after browsing through a J. Crew catalog? I want you to dig that sucker out of the back of the closet and try to bite a hole in it. I’ll wait. See? It’s hard to bite through, isn’t it? When the zombies rise, you’ll want some good work gloves and a leather jacket. Dungarees. Steel-toed boots for stomping on zed skulls (if you’ve switched from running to last stand mode). A little leather can give you the protection you need when dealing with a onesy or twosy. A little protection can give you enough time for your buddy to brain Mr. Chompers while he’s gnawing on your forearm.

Any more zombies than two, your best bet is hunching over in a protective ball, placing your head between your legs and giving your gluteus maximus one last smooch in thanks for all the good times.

If you have Kevlar motorcycle gear, in addition to looking cool, you’re freaking gold, hombre.

Wal-Mart? Target? The mall? Whatever you do, don’t go to a large retail outlet in hopes of living out your Dawn of the Dead consumer fantasy. That’s where stupid people go, and stupid people usually become zombies. They’re halfway there, after all. Nope, what you need to find is a defensible building, hopefully brick, with few windows. Old WPA buildings, dams, power stations, water treatment plants. Anywhere that the government might’ve beefed up security after 911. Get yourself to a defensible position first! Worry about food and water later.
You’ve been bitten by the dead girl in the garage – Of course she didn’t need your help! She was just hungry for living flesh! – and you don’t have much time left before your husband starts resembling a talking sirloin steak. You’re gonna have to take yourself out, I’m afraid. You’ll want a large enough caliber to make sure your noggin is vaporized. Place the barrel on your soft palette, pointing toward the ceiling, and give it a squeeze. Your loved ones will thank you for not having to shoot you themselves. Well, some of them, anyway.
You’ve done it! You’ve reached safety, if only for a while. Now you need to reaffirm your humanity after all the running, screaming, headknocking, and death. Hopefully, along the way, you’ve run into another survivor with great abs and a canny ability to assess any situation. Best way to reaffirm your humanity? Sex. That’s right. Bow-chicka-bow. Life affirming, mind blowing sex.

Unless you’re into the weird stuff.