Zombie Apocalypse Megastore

And the zombie apocalypse just keeps on rolling. This time in Sweden an associate professor has given his wife incontrovertible grounds for divorce.

The unnamed associate professor at the Karolinska Institute in Sweden is the latest in what might be seen as an epidemic of individuals feasting on other people. As reported at both Times Live and Aftonbladet (Swedish) the professor had remarried very shortly after gaining a divorce from his first wife and then became convinced his new, and much younger, wife was having an affair.

In an apparent attempt to punish the young lady with disfigurement, and to also make it impossible to reattach the lips, the professor cut her lips off, and then ate them. No mention of any fava bean side dishes was made in the English language edition of the article.

“He didn’t want the lips to be able to be sewn back on,” the unnamed source said, explaining why he had eaten them.

The professor has been ordered to endure a psychiatric evaluation. The DSM-IV TR (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) has no code listed for Zombie-ism at BehaveNet, and only obliquely references cannibalism as a form of psychopathology.

Ingela Ekman Hessius, the woman’s lawyer, reports the lady in question as in serious condition and is quoted as saying:

“She is of course not doing well, neither psychologically nor physically,”

Cases of apparent cannibalism have made the news and shocked many around the globe, Rudy Eugene, the Miami Causeway Cannibal, Luka Magnotta with a possible connection to a blog post at Digital Journal, Alexander Kinyua, and perhaps not the most gruesome, but arguably one of the stranger forms was Mao Sugiyamawho had his testicles removed and then cooked and served them to diners.

As for me and my house, I am placing a rush order at my local weapons supply store for at least one box of Zombie Max bullets. The Hornady company notes that the ammunition in question is specifically designed for use on zombies and the disclaimer on the Hornady website is:

Disclaimer: Hornady® Zombie Max™ ammunition is NOT a toy (IT IS LIVE AMMUNITION), but is intended only to be used on…ZOMBIES, also known as the living dead, undead, etc. No human being, plant, animal, vegetable or mineral should ever be shot with Hornady® Zombie Max™ ammunition. Again, we repeat, Hornady® Zombie Max™ ammunition is for use on ZOMBIES ONLY, and that’s not a nickname, phrase or cute way of referring to anybody, place or thing. When we say Zombies, we mean…ZOMBIES!