Zombie Questions

QUESTION:

WHAT’S THE MOST SATISFYING WAY TO KILL A ZOMBIE? 
a) Baseball Bat b) Machete c) Shotgun d) Liquid Nitrogen e) Wood-Chipper.

The BASEBALL BAT (aka: Louisville Slugger) is great for that up-close and personal touch. Whether you use wood or aluminum, be advised, after a good head-bashing, you might experience a temporary tingling or numbness in your wrists.

The MACHETE, a cross between an axe and a knife, is a good multi-use tool. Downside: Constant practice and blade-sharpening can seem like chores. QUICK TIP: If you must have a machete, get a Kukri (central Asia) or the Tapanga (Africa).

On the other hand, for elegance, precision, and stealthy silence, nothing beats the Japanese Katana sword – think Highlander.

The SHOTGUN. It gives new meaning the the term: “Scatterbrained”. But seriously folks, what’s not to like about a pump-action, Mossberg 500 – it’s an American Classic. Downside: Shotgun blasts are messy and very loud.

LIQUID NITROGEN. Yes, it’s very “out-of-the box” thinking but it’s also very complicated and it wouldn’t actually kill a zombie as much as slow it down.

The WOOD-CHIPPER. Granted, they’re not cheap and coaxing the undead inside one can be tricky. On the other hand, nothing is more satisfying then seeing the total (million tiny bit) annihilation of a zombie. Oh yeah, Zed is dead.